Let it Burn
by Dextris
Summary: Jean's relationship with Eren has been starting to crumble, and to make things worse, he gets a horrible feeling that Eren might just be cheating on him. In his troubles, he goes to his friend Marco who has been secretly in love with Jean for quite some time now. Marco has his own problems with his anorexic roommate, and dark thoughts of his own, who knows how long he'll last.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**:I felt like I should put a trigger warning here because this story is going to have a lot of suicidal tendencies along with anorexic problems. I don't plan on it being light, so if these things upset you a lot, I would suggest not reading.

* * *

"Eren." The sound of a light piece of paper was slammed down onto a desk. The brunette that was sitting at the desk flinched. His green eyes slowly dragged up the pale arm that belonged to the man who slammed the paper down in the first place. He was an unpleasant man, very short, and a very annoyed look was plastered on his face just about all the time. Eren, the brunette sitting at the desk let out a sigh as he prepared for the words that were soon to come out of his teacher's mouth. "This is embarrassing..."

The brunette looked down at his paper, realizing it was the test that he took a week ago, and saw all the red marks scribbled on it. His teacher- Levi- moved on to the next student, handing back their tests to the class. Eren rolled his eyes as he scanned over the comments his teacher made.

_"Not even close," "What?" "Did you even study for this?" "How did you come to this answer? EXPLAIN." "Read the directions," "Try harder next time. This is sad."_

"Douche bag..." Eren mumbled under his breath as he propped his hand under his chin. He heard some chuckling and chattering coming from students behind him, but no distinctive words could be made out. Levi had made his way back to his desk at this point, grading some other homework assignment. The bell rang loudly, startling some kids, while others were already heading towards the door as it went off. Eren put his paper away, and pulled his bag over his shoulders, getting ready to leave, only to be stopped by his teacher. "Eren." The brunette rolled his eyes, grudgingly turning his body towards his teacher. "Sit."

Eren glanced at the door, and then looked at his seat. He knew this would take longer if he didn't just suck it up and go with it, so against every whim in his body, he turned around and sat his ass back down.

His teacher was staring at him, silence filling the room as all the students left, and it was just the two of them. Eren avoided eye contact with his teacher, knowing that it was just going to be a lecture about how bad of a student he was.

The silence was finally broken as Levi set his papers aside and gave his full attention to his student now. "You do realize that you need to pass this class in order to graduate, right?" Eren rolled his eyes, already annoyed. Of course he knew that, he didn't need to be talked to like an idiot. "Your grades have done nothing but plummeted recently. You used to be one of the top students in this class, but now you're almost at the bottom. What's with all this?" Levi gave a moment of silence, hoping that he would get an answer, but there was nothing but an ignorant shrug. "That's not acceptable." He commented. "You've only got a few weeks left until the end of the marking period, you can't afford to take this class over again, especially when you're graduating this year." Levi sighed as he leaned back in his chair, flicking his pen between his fingers as he waited yet again for Eren to respond.

"What do you want from me? My grades are bad, I get that." Eren spat out.

"Your grades are going to cause you to stay behind at least another semester instead of graduating on time with the rest of your class." Levi retorted. "What I want from you is to re-do all of your homework assignments from this past marking period. Anything below a 60% I want re-done."

"What?!" Eren exclaimed. "How am I gonna find the time to do that?!"

"Two days a week, for another hour I want you to stay after class, in here with me. You'll spend it re-doing your homework assignments and studying for your final. As long as you get at least an 85% on your final, and you turn in all of your finished homework assignments, then you should be able to graduate on time just like everybody else."

"Why don't any of the other kids have to do this then?" Eren countered irritably.

"Because out of the students who have some of the worst grades in the class, you are the only one that can actually graduate from passing this class. The others will have to take another year regardless. And the rest of the students have their shit together, or have to pull their shit together for another class-which at that point, is none of my concern." Levi pulled his grading book out and grabbed out a folder with "Jaeger" scrawled across it. "In here are all of the homework assignments you never completed or just failed to turn in completely. I don't care what two days you choose, but it will be those two same days each week. Although, whether or not you choose to turn this around is solely up to you."

"What if I can't come in?"

"Then get that work done at home. And make sure you ace the final." Levi held the folder out towards Eren, indicating that the lecture was finally over. Eren sighed deeply, pulling himself out of his desk and grabbing the folder. They held a stare for a moment before Eren turned on his heel and headed for the door. "Jaeger.." Levi called out.

"Yes..?" Eren gritted.

"What happened to your lip?" Levi asked, returning to his paper work.

Eren ran his tongue over his lip, eventually reaching the split and scabbed part on the right side of his mouth. His tongue caused a stinging sensation to jolt through him, but he ignored it. "Boyfriend." He responded bluntly.

"Am I to assume that was from rough housing, or do I need to report that?"

"...It's fine..." Eren scoffed, finally heading out the door. Levi stared after him for a moment before slouching in his chair and getting back to correcting papers.

* * *

"Hey." Eren turned his head to the side, seeing the man that cooed the greeting at him. Eren returned the greeting with half a smile, and then extended his hand out to his boyfriend, who had been waiting outside the classroom for him.

"Sorry, Jean..." Eren apologized, looking over his significant other., the bruise that swelled under his eye socket somehow made him feel better "That teachers a dick.."

"What took so long though?" Jean questioned as the two finally headed off to their homes.

"He was lecturing me about my grades again, gave me a bunch of homework now, _and_ he wants me to start coming to his class after school now too to work on all of this." Eren groaned, holding up the folder his teacher had assigned him.

"He's letting you make up your work?" Jean asked looking over the folder in Eren's hand.

"Well... Yeah technically. He said I have to get at least an 85% on the final or I won't pass."

"I don't really see what's wrong with that. Most teachers don't let their students make up any work. You should be a little thankful to that guy man." Jean shrugged.

"Yeah, but it's really none of his business."

After walking through the school building and making their way out towards the parting sidewalk, the two stopped. Eren yawned as Jean pulled his hand away. "Gonna wait for Armin and Mikasa?" Jean asked, shifting his belongings into his other arm.

Eren nodded, looking over his shoulder hoping that they might be there. "You going to go see Marco?"

"Nah, he's already back at the dorm, I'll see him some other time."

"Oh. Does that mean you're free then..?" Eren asked, his eyes once again fixed on the bruise he had left on his boyfriends' face.

"Eh, I mean, for like an hour. We're taking our exam early in my Psychology class, so I was gonna study for that, but if you wanted to chill for a bit.." Jean trailed off, his eyes drawing in on the split lip he had given Eren the other day. The two fell silent as they both tried to ignore the marks they had left on each other. Jean sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "Ah, fuck it, I've got all week to study, did you want to hang out?"

"Are you sure?" Eren asked, raising an eyebrow. "I can't picture you failing a test."

"Eh, that's cause I barely study anyway." Jean smirked, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on Eren's cheek. "I'm just kind of born being this smart and devilishly handsome, so the good grades and babes just come naturally."

Eren shoved Jean away playfully, rolling his eyes. "Shut it, Jean."

Eren looked over his shoulder to see if his two best friends had made their way there yet, but they hadn't. He pulled his phone out and typed a quick 'hanging out w jean' text and sent it to them so they knew not to wait up for him. After slipping his phone back into his pocket, he intertwined their fingers and made their way back to Jean's dorm.

* * *

"Jean I swear to God-"

"-What, are you gonna give me another black eye?"

"UGH, You are literally the most insanely difficult person I've ever met!" Eren threw his hands into the air, giving up on his argument with his boyfriend. He was so mad about it, because it literally started over the dumbest thing. They were just trying to make a sandwich to eat while they talked, and they literally just disagreed on what order to put the food on. Eren said it was meat and veggies on bottom, any condiments on top. Jean said it was meat on bottom and any veggies and condiments on top. Now it was somehow completely blown out of proportion, and the two were arguing back and forth, threatening to kick each other's asses.

"You act like you're easy to please..." Jean mumbled under his breath.

Eren ended up throwing the food in his hand down. "Well I'm fucking sorry I'm so damn frustrating to you!"

"You _literally_ just told me that's what I was!" Jean yelled standing out of his kitchen seat. "How the hell are you gonna use that against me?!"

"Why does it always gotta be against you!? Why the fuck do you act like I'm always out to get you!?" Eren yelled back, stepping closer to Jean.

"Are you fucking serious?! Do you listen to yourself talk? You have got to be the biggest fucking idiot on the face of the planet!" Jean screamed.

"I'm still above you on that!"

"Yeah? Is that why you have to have a teacher baby you to pass fucking schoo-"

Jean was cut off when Eren couldn't take it anymore and slammed a fist into the taller man's jaw. Jean looked back in anger, holding onto his cheek and then letting out a frustrating growl and jumping at Eren. The two began rolling around on each other, punching and kicking at one another, screaming insults in between each punch.

"FUCK YOU-!" Jean screamed as he threw his fist against Eren's cheek. Eren retorted by kneeing him in the stomach and kicking him off of him. Jean rolled over, and then crawled away, trying to catch his breath.

The angry brunette gripped onto Jean's leg, and started punching him on this thigh. "I fucking hate you so much! You piece of shit!"

"GODAMMIT THAT HURTS-" Jean shoved Eren's head, trying to push him off of his leg. He threw his free leg at him, hoping it would weaken his grip while Eren kept punching him.

"-FUCK Y-"

"-HEYY!"

The two stopped dead in the their tracks, turning their attention to the door and seeing Armin standing there with his school bag over his shoulder and a bitter look on his face. "Knock. It. Off."

Eren looked to Jean and then let go of his leg, standing up. Jean started to stand and in the process shoved Eren, in which the brunette toppled backwards. After regaining his balance, Eren pushed Jean's shoulder, nearly knocking him over.

"Seriously, guys?" Armin sighed, throwing his bag to the ground. "You two are like kindergartners..." He rolled his eyes as he walked over to them. "Eren... You should probably leave..."

Eren bawled his hands into a fist and then stomped off towards the door. He grabbed his school bag from behind the door and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

There was a silence in the air for a moment, Armin rolling his head towards Jean with a look that said What-The-Hell-Did-You-Do-This-Time? Jean huffed, not saying anything. "Jean..." Armin sighed.

The taller man turned to his blond room mate and rolled his eyes. "What? He started it!"

"You guys can't keep doing that! That's seriously so bad!" Armin pulled out a chair and sat down. "How are you two even still in a relationship at this point?"

Jean let his shoulders slump with a sigh. "I..I don't know man... I just..." He looked off to the side before deciding to sit with Armin. "We just keep getting into fights lately.."

"Have you guys tried... You know, _talking?_ " Armin asked with a sarcastic tone.

Jean shot Armin a mean look before continuing. "He doesn't really talk anymore. Everything we try to talk about just ends up turning into a fight, and then we're both covered in bruises, and everyone's assuming we're in some kind of abusive relationship.."

Armin rose an eyebrow. "You know, you _are_ in an abusive relationship right now...You guys are both abusing the hell out of each other." Jean didn't have any response for the blond, and just groaned. He didn't really know what to do, he honestly wasn't even sure if he still liked Eren, but the idea of them breaking up sounded horrible, so he guessed that he must've if he couldn't leave him. "Look, you're my friend, and you're also my room mate, so I have this obligation to side with you on things, but you need to understand, Eren is my best friend. Eren is really close to me, so I swear if I see you hurt him again, Jean.."

Jean waved a hand in the air. "Yeah, yeah, I know.. I can't keep my temper around him, I don't know. Something's wrong with him and it just pisses me off that he won't do anything about it.. So I just get mad instead of.. Well.. Being more like you."

Armin's face didn't change any, he placed his fingertips on the table and tapped them lightly on the table. "Well maybe you should stop getting pissed off over someone else's emotions, and actually try to be there for them." Before another word could be said, Armin stood up from his spot and walked off towards his room, leaving Jean staring after him with a pissed off look on his bruised face.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I felt like I should put a trigger warning here because this story is going to have a lot of suicidal tendencies along with anorexic problems. I don't plan on it being light, so if these things upset you a lot, I would suggest not reading.

* * *

Another bright sunny day, with a nice cool breeze and people walking about rushing to their destinations, or walking slowly towards the dreaded day ahead of them. One of those slower walkers was Marco Bodt. He had his backpack over his shoulders, and a few notebooks under his arm. He was walking along slowly to his dorm room, his eyes focusing on his cell phone. He'd gotten a text message from his best friend Jean that he was canceling his plans with him _again. _On top of that, Marco had also received a message from his roommate that only said "He makes me feel sick..." and that was it. His stomach flipped as he pondered over what way his roommate meant that, but he figured he'd find out as soon as he got home.

Upon arriving to his dorm room, Marco pulled open the door and looked around the small area. "Bertholdt?" He asked, stepping inside and putting his things down on the table near the kitchen. He walked in towards his room, passing the bathroom and finally hearing noise of another human being. He was gagging.

Marco let out a sigh, putting a hand to his forehead. He didn't have the energy for this anymore. He stepped towards the bathroom door where he heard it and checked the doorknob.

It was locked.

"Bertholdt, open the door..." He breathed, listening closely to what was going on behind the door. There was crying, and a pause.. And then another vomiting sound. "Bertholdt, open this door." Marco pleaded.

"..I-I ate..." Marco could barely hear Bertholdt over the noise of the toilet flushing. " So much.. Gross.."

Marco rubbed his eyes in a stressed manner and then turned and went for the kitchen. He pulled out a butter knife, bringing it back with him towards the door. He tried twisting the knob again, hoping it might've been unlocked for him, but it wasn't. Marco jammed the knife into the side of the door and pushed it to the side slightly, causing the door to pop open. The freckled boy let out a long sigh when he looked down at his roommate, lying on the ground with his head hanging over the toilet bowl, tears running down his face. "..." There was a silence between the two of them, Bertholdt too ashamed to look anywhere near Marco. The shorter of the two ran a hand through his hair and then set the knife down on the bathroom sink. "Come on.. Let's go lay down.." Marco reached a hand out towards Bertholdt and helped him up. Bertholdt stood up, using his hands to wipe his face, getting rid of all the tears he had cried.

The two walked towards Marco's bed, Bertholdt sitting on the edge while he composed himself. Marco walked over to their tv and clicked it on, putting it on some random channel. He crawled into his bed, sitting towards the headboard and looking at the tall and lanky friend of his. "Hey..." Bertholdt turned to him, looking embarrassed. "How was it?"

Bertholdt bit his lip, looking away. " I-I didn't.. Want to eat..all-"

"Not the food, how was hanging out with him?" Marco cut him off, trying to take his mind off the incident he had today.

Bertholdt let out a breath, rubbing his arm. "...I can't remember..We had fun...He said I should eat more... So I did..."

Marco was quiet for a moment, before reaching towards the taller man and putting his hand on his back in a comforting manner. "I'm proud of you." Bertholdt looked confused by the statement. "That was really strong for you to do that."

"Do...what?"

"..." Marco smiled at him, deciding not to say it. "Nothing, Just know I'm proud of you."

Bertholdt looked away from him, his face showing how little it really meant. He had thoughts of self hate swarming through his mind constantly, so what on earth did Marco have to be proud of in him? He must've been lying.

Seeing the lack of affect it had on Bertholdt, Marco removed his hand and then layed back on his elbows. "So? Did you at least get to hug him?"

Bertholdt's face brightened to a light pink, bringing his fingers to his lips and chewing on them. "N-no.. He just.. Patted me on the back.. Like, a sideways hug.."

"So you at least got to _touch _him?" Marco smirked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ahh, stop it, you make it sound so strange.." Bertholdt turned away, his face getting darker. "We were just hanging out, Marco.."

"Yeah, I know, I just think it's adorable how you act. I'm sure if he saw you like this, Reiner would be all over you in no time." Marco laughed at how flustered it made his friend, but he couldn't help himself. It was the only way he could make him feel any better, and he felt like it was working.

"Jesus Marco, I'm trying to spend time with him, not get in his pants.." Bertholdt breathed, pulling at his sweater. "Is this what you tried to accomplish with Jean all day?"

"Ah..." Marco breathed out, feeling a tight squeeze on his heart. "He.. Canceled."

"Again?" Bertholdt questioned.

"Yeah... Said he was gonna hang out with Eren today.." Marco shrugged his shoulders, feeling defeated.

"...He does that a lot to you.."

"Well they are dating, so I guess I can't really complain.. I just feel like I never see him anymore..." Marco trailed off. He pulled out his phone, looking at it in the hopes that maybe he had a missed message, but there wasn't anything. He even went to his recent messages and clicked on Jean's name, but it was still the same message he had received after he was out of class.

"Why don't you try texting him?" Bertholdt suggested, pointing down at his phone.

"Ahhh he might be.. Busy or something.." Marco mumbled, flipping his phone over so he didn't have to look at his name any longer.

"Well, then he'll get back to you after he's not busy." The taller guy looked at his freckled roommate. "That is the point of texting, right?"

"You're one to talk.." Marco mumbled, looking back at his phone. He hit the reply button under Jean and his conversation, and stared at his screen for a while. He bit his lip before he just decided to type something simple.

**Marco**: How was the date with the bf?

It didn't take long for his phone to buzz off again and Marco caught his friend chuckling at him. "See? Wasn't that hard."

Marco rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. I'm sure you just text Reiner all the time then?"

"Hah, we're talking about you here, don't change the subject." Bertholdt joked.

Marco smiled, looking down at his phone.

**Jean:** Horrible.

Marco seemed surprised by his response and in a way felt sort of happy by it. The happiness died instantly when he thought about how cruel of a wish it was, and a feeling of guilt crept through him.

**Marco: **Aw, what happened?

**Jean: **Youll see it tomorrow.

Marco let out a sigh, biting the side of his cheek. Bertholdt raised an eyebrow to his friend, curious as to what the two were talking about. The freckled boy typed away another message to his crush.

**Marco: **Did you guys get into a fight again?

_Bzzt_

**Jean: **Yeah. Are you busy?

"Ahh-" Marco blushed, biting his lip. Like, busy right now? And did he want to hang out right now? Or call? Or-

"What's he saying?" Bertholdt asked, pulling his legs up to chest, covering up his whole torso from sight. Marco looked to him, his eyes paying attention to his sickly pale skin, and horribly skinny figure.

"He got into a fight with Eren again, and he's asking if I'm busy." He responded.

"Are you... Gonna go out?" Bertholdt's voice trailed off, his eyes looking desperate for his friend's attention.

Marco felt his heart slump. He didn't even know if that's what Jean was asking, but there's no way he could leave his friend to his terrible thoughts by himself tonight. He didn't want to have to chose between the two, but he knew it'd be Bertholdt if it came down to it. He looked down at his phone and typed away. "I don't even know if that's what he wants."

**Marco:** Sort of, just chilling with Bert, why?

_Bzzt-_

**Jean: **Never mind, I'll see you tomorrow.

Marco cocked an eyebrow in confusion, tossing his phone aside without replying. "Alright.." He sighed out. "I guess he didn't want anything then."

Bertholdt fiddled with the hem of his pants, a small creeping on his face. "That was weird.."

"Hopefully he'll tell me about it tomorrow.." Marco pushed himself forward, stepping off the bed and walking up to the tv. "You in the mood to play something?" He switched the tv over to it's game mode and clicked on his playstation, tossing a controller to his friend and then taking his and plopping back down. "How about castle crashers?"

"Sure, that sounds like I won't die as much."

"Dibs on Orange Knight." Marco called, loading the game up.

"Whatever, I'm always the green one anyway."

* * *

The worst thing about school is probably how slow each hour seemed to go by for every class. Lecture after lecture, test after test, it was all the same. It was hard to have a fun classroom when there were so many different ways a teacher could get in trouble nowadays. It made for a horrible education system, to say the least. Regardless, Levi was thankful he had a few hours in his day to catch up on all of his grading and extra work. He was currently sitting at his desk, in his empty classroom, marking paper after paper. He had become so robotic over each answer that he could probably guarantee that there was a paper marked incorrectly.

Rubbing his eyes, Levi sat back in his chair, straightening out his shoulders, and back before he tried to knock out the remaining stack of ungraded work. There was a light tap on his classroom door, his uninterested eyes glancing over and being met with a co-worker of his. "Mind if I stop by?"

"Seems too late to say no." Levi responded, picking up his red pen and continuing to check his papers. His taller friend stepped up to his desk, and picked up some of the papers in the stack that had already been graded.

"You know, for how shitty your personality is, you don't grade as strict as I would expect you to."

"Of course not, why would I do that?" Levi asked, grabbing the papers from his colleague's hands and setting them back in their proper pile. "Not everyone is on the same level, and acting like they are is just ignorant."

"Well, then what about the kids above that level? You're just making it easy on them."

"That's what they get for being above it." Levi commented. "Besides, there's AP classes for that. Jesus, I'd hate to see how you grade.."

The taller man laughed. "I teach History, it's all about the memory skills there."

Levi let out an annoyed sigh. "Erwin, what the fuck do you want?"

Erwin leaned against Levi's desk, looking out at his friends' classroom. "Nothing, I'm on my break so I thought I'd swing by..." He turned his gaze out the window, staring out at the courtyard that was in view. "Did you hear what happened to the professor over at Maria?"

"No Erwin, and I don't give a shit." Levi commented, flipping over the paper in his hand and scribbling his red pen across it.

Erwin ignored his comment and went on with the story anyway. "The guy got caught with a student of his. Apparently, he had been giving the girl a higher grade in exchange for sex."

"Really?" Levi asked, pretending like he cared about the story, his voice thick with sarcasm.

"Yup, He's in prison for.. I forgot how long, and the girl I guess was taken out of that school."

"No way." Again, heavy sarcasm.

"I can't believe it." Erwin chuckled.

Levi rolled his eyes, he really couldn't be any less interested in the topic. "What? That some old pigshit was attracted to a young pretty girl and took advantage of his position as a teacher and got his way with her? Fucking unbelievable, never heard the story before."

"No, that he got caught." To this, Levi's pen instantly stopped all the writing it was doing, and his eyes, for the first time since the story started, looked up at the blond.

"What?" He asked, the look on his face coming to the only logical conclusion that could be drawn from those words.

Erwin cracked a smile, enjoying the reaction he got from Levi.

Levi always knew that the girls in the school would swoon over this guy, and hell, a handful of them were probably old enough to be his mom, but he didn't think that meant Erwin would still do something like that. "Are you saying you've had sex with your students before..?" Levi asked.

"Haha," Erwin cackled, waving a hand in the air. "No, of course not, that's cruel, Levi" But his expression said other wise and Levi knew that response was bullshit. Erwin picked up on the look and shrugged. "There are rules in place you know."

"Yeah? What kind of rules?" Levi asked, staring up at him with a deadpanned expression.

"Well for one, there's no taking advantage of students, and of course, age is a biggie."

"Oh my-" Levi put his pen down, bringing a hand to his face.

"Ah don't think of it like it's taboo, Levi. You could probably pick up a good date with one of your students."

"Are we really having this conversation..?" Levi asked, more to himself than Erwin.

"Or maybe not, you'd probably scare them all away with that face." Erwin pointed at Levi. The darker haired man shot him a death glare.

"What're you saying?"

Erwin smiled. "I bet you can't get at least a date with one of your students."

"...I'm not playing this game, Erwin."

"Oh, another rule though, no using grades or anything against them-"

"-Erwin, I'm not-"

"-And they have to consent to it, no guilt tripping them or anything.-"

"You're not listening-"

"-Ah, I would just think of it as a person outside the classroom."

Levi stared up at the taller man, his mind beginning to play with the idea. "Erwin, I could probably get any student that you point out to me if I wanted to." He ended with.

Erwin raised and eyebrow. "Oh? Is that your bet?"

"Get that shit-eating grin off your face."

"You're thinking about it, I can tell."

Levi let out a frustrated groan. "If I can get them to say 'yes' to a date, then will you shut the fuck up?"

Just as Levi finished his sentence, there was another presence at the door. "Hey.. Professor..." The two turned their heads to be met with an averaged sized male brunette, and Levi felt his gut twist, his mind telling him not to look at the blond.

Erwin leaned in towards Levi. "I still get to point them out, right?" Before another word could be exchanged between the two, Erwin pushed himself off of the desk, and announced loudly. "Well! I'd better get back to my class then, I'll see you later."

"Eren..." Levi mumbled, staring at his student for his next class. "You're early... By two hours..."

"...I figured I'd get help on the work you gave me." Eren stepped into the classroom, paying no mind to Erwin as he stepped out of the room. He pulled out his backpack and grabbed the folder Levi had given to him previously. He flipped to the first few pages of the packet and held it out towards his teacher. "I just wanted you to check them to see if they're right."

Levi glanced over the page, recognizing most of the answers correctly. His gaze shifted from the page to Eren's cheeks. "Eren." Levi called, bringing the brunette's attention to him. He set the paper down on his desk and leaned back a bit. "What happened to your face?"

Eren brought a hand to his cheek, turning to the side and not saying anything.

"What's going on? Every time I see you, there's a new bruise or cut on you."

"It's.. Just some relationship problems..."

"Yeah, your boyfriend, right?" Levi's eyes glanced to the clock and then back at the boy. "Is that why you're here early? To get away from him?"

"..." Eren looked away, not saying anything.

"..." Levi stared at him a moment longer before looking down at his paper. "What's his name?"

Eren felt his heart twist for a moment. "Levi, please don't report-"

"I'm not going to report him, I just wanted to know about your relationship." Levi lied. He wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to report or not, because he wasn't quite sure if it was a problem.

"...Jean." Eren sighed. The last thing he wanted to happen was to get Jean in trouble, especially since he knew the two were both at fault. "Jean Kirschstein."

"Ah, What's he like?"

"An idiot." Eren spat out crossing his arms with a slight look of frustration over coming him. "The biggest jerk on the planet too."

Levi chuckled. "Sounds like someone I know." He commented, referring to Erwin. Eren brought his eyes back to his teacher. "How long have you two been dating?"

"Ahh.." Eren bit his lip thinking. "Almost.. Three years now?"

Levi glanced up at him. "That's a long time to date an idiot."

Eren cracked a smile, looking away. "Well, he's.. A good idiot. But..."

There was a silence in the air, Eren's smile fading away as he let out a sigh. Levi watched him, twirling his pen in his hand, before dragging his eyes back to Eren's paper and marking a check at the top, indicating that it had been turned in.

"...I don't think I love him anymore..." Eren mumbled, more to himself than to Levi. The older of the two looked up at him, specifically at the cuts and bruises that were scattered on his face.

"Eren." Levi started, handing the paper back to his student, and then pointing his pen at him. "Are you trying to get him to break up with you? Is that what all of this is about?" He indicated Eren's face.

The brunette was quiet, looking down as he let his thoughts roam. He didn't really know. Maybe that's what he was doing, maybe that's why he had been picking fights all the time, and making things so much more difficult than they had to be. He thought about breaking up with Jean a lot lately, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Maybe he was subconsciously trying to make Jean hate him enough to leave him.

"...I don't know.." Eren sighed, taking the paper from Levi.

"Do you want my advice?" Levi asked. The brunette looked at him and didn't say anything. "You're not happy. Break up with him. You're gonna hurt him, and throwing punches in each other's face isn't going to make his feelings hurt any less when you do it. He's not going to be the one to break up with you, I can tell you that much."

Eren slipped the paper into his folder and then looked towards the door. "...Are tuesdays and thursdays alright?"

"What?" Levi asked, thrown off by the out of the blue question.

"For the make up work, are those days good?"

"Oh.. Yeah of course." Levi waved a hand in the air, his mind briefly going back to the conversation that he had with Erwin. He pushed the thought away and gave Eren a nod.

Eren went towards the back of the classroom, putting his things on his desk "You know.. You're not as much as a prick as I thought you were. "

"I get that a lot." Levi chuckled.

"Yeah..." Eren didn't say anything else, but instead put his head down on his desk, grabbing a nice nap before the class actually started.


	3. Chapter 3

"Jesus Jean!" Marco exclaimed, reaching a hand out to his friend. "He fucked you up..."

"Thanks..." Jean said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. The two were currently in the bathroom of a grocery store, Jean with his pants pulled down far enough to show Marco the bruise on his thigh. Marco bit his lip, staring at his friend's well toned, and now dark purple thigh. Jean huffed as he pulled his pants back up. "I'm so sick of this shit, man!"

Marco shook his head, his eyes now on Jean's face, staring at the healing black eye that he was given a while ago. His heart twisted as he stared at him. "Ahh.. This is happening more frequently now.."

"I know, and it's over the stupidest shit too!" Jean nodded his head towards the door. "Let's get out of here though, smells like piss..." Marco agreed, and the two headed out towards the door.

Marco's throat felt extremely dry all of a sudden and his palms began to sweat. He was nervous, but he wanted to help Jean. "Jean...Are you two.. I-I mean, do you guys still enjoy being around each other?"

"Tsk," Jean stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets and headed off towards the cafe area of the super market. "I don't know about hard ass, but I still do.. I mean.. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you come out with a new bruise every time...?" Marco suggested. He felt so bad at helping Jean with these things because every time he said something, he felt as though Jean would think he was trying to get them to break up and- even if he really did want that to happen- he didn't want Jean to be hurt. Marco had his wishes, and fantasies, but he wasn't going to put his feelings over his friend when he needed him. Sometimes when he wanted to give advice, he couldn't even tell if he was saying it because that's what he really felt, or if it's what he wanted to happen.

"Eh..." Jean sighed. "Eren's been acting like a royal bitch lately...And then when I try to talk to Armin about it, he gets pissed at me and tells me to stop getting mad. How the fuck am I supposed to just stop being mad at Eren when all this bullshit starts?"

"Well...Maybe he didn't mean for you to just stop feeling angry, but to stop instigating?"

"Inst-" Jean stopped in his tracks, and turned towards his freckled friend. "_Instigating?!_ "

Marco just shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, I don't have a clue how your fights start, but if you could let things slide, maybe the wouldn't happen as frequently."

Jean rolled his eyes, the two walking up towards the cafe area and picking a table to sit at. Jean kicked a chair back and sat down, slouching in his chair and groaning. "I'm so sick of this relationship sometimes. It just keeps getting worse and worse and it just feels like we're only hanging out to still be able to say we're dating." He pulled himself up in his chair and then leaned on the table. "Like, I don't know, I still like him and stuff, but..I sorta feel like he hates me."

"..." Marco twiddled his thumbs, he didn't really know what to say.. "Like...?"

"Well, yeah I mean I hope he doesn't actually hate me."

"No, you said you still like him.." Marco pointed out. "When did it stop being love...?"

"I..." Jean stared at his friend, completely stumped. "...I don't know..."

The two sat in silence for a moment, Marco uncomfortable and nervous, while Jean was in deep thought.

"Maybe...Maybe I should..." Marco's ears perked up to the words, his heart started to pound and he felt his face getting hot. Should what? Break up with him? Give me a chance?

He mentally slapped himself for the thoughts that crossed his mind. He was being selfish, he had to think about Jean here, not his feelings.

"Maybe I should go see him.. Try to talk about this or something..." Jean breathed out.

Marco felt his heart drop. "Ah... That might be for the best. Ignoring and fighting about nothing isn't going to fix anything."

Jean leaned forward nodding his head. "Yeah, you're right.. Like always." He stood up, surprising his freckled friend.

"W-wait, you're going to talk to him right now?" Marco asked, his body barely able to allow himself to stand as he felt himself get desperate to keep Jean here.

"Yeah, I want to sort this out." He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he nodded towards the exit. "I was thinking maybe you should tag along though. I know it's not the best way to hang out, but you always have a way of keeping me calm, and I feel like I need it."

Great.

Just...Great.

Marco's throat closed up for a moment, taking his eyes off of his friend and thinking. He would either have to let himself get ditched again, or to be a third wheel and still hang out with Jean. He didn't know which one would be worse. He supposed that once Jean and Eren got over their damn bickering, he would leave before the two were all over each other. He let out a sigh and then nodded. "Alright, fine.."

Jean smiled, his face looking as pleasant as it possibly could for a split second. It made Marco's heart jump. The two turned and walked towards Jean's car, heading off towards Eren's dorm room. To say the least, Marco had a bad feeling in his gut about how it was going to go down.

* * *

"What're you doing here...?" Eren groaned in his doorway, his eyes glaring at his boyfriend in front of him.

"We need to talk." Jean stated, hands in his pocket.

"What's _he_ doing here?" Eren snapped, nodding towards Marco. Marco gave a sheepish wave, an awkward chuckle barely audible as he tried to play it off like there wasn't just a shit ton of tension in the air at the moment.

"I asked him to come along, don't worry about it." Jean looked past Eren. "Now are we allowed in, or what?"

Eren rolled his eyes and then stepped aside to let the men in. He shut the door and then walked past them, not exchanging any words as he plopped himself down on the couch. Jean looked around the dorm room, it was set up similar to his, the living room was off to the right, and there was a kitchen on the left, a dinning area just at the entrance of the kitchen. In the middle of the two sides, there was a hallway that lead towards the rooms and bathroom in the back.

Eren was sitting on the couch that was pushed up against the wall, next to the hallway entrance. There was a long coffee table in front that he usually put his feet against. Currently there were homework assignments sprawled across it, a couple of pens and pencils lying on top of some of the work. Across from the couch and table, there was a TV stand set up with a simple 32 inch TV set there. A couple of games and movies were sprawled along the TV stand, a digital receiver sitting next to the tv.

Marco hadn't ever been inside of Eren's dorm before, he really had no reason to. Jean had his own car, so it's not like he'd ever pick him up from here. He actually had no idea who Eren's room mate was either. He never heard about him or saw him ever so it was a complete mystery.

"You and I both know you've been acting differently lately." Jean's voice cut into Marco's thoughts. He turned towards his crush, his face showing worry at how this conversation would go.

"Eh." Eren responded, not really acknowledging Jean's serious tone. Jean felt his blood boil for a split second. He was trying to be concerned for his ass, and he was just gonna play it off like nothing.

"Eren." Jean growled, taking in a breath to calm his nerves. "I just want to know what's going with you."

"Did freckled fuck tell you say that?" Eren hissed. Marco blinked, taken aback by the insult. What did he do? He literally was just standing there, how did that piss him off?

"Leave Marco out of it, ass." Jean responded, looking more angry than he did a moment ago. Marco could sense the air getting bad, and was sure a fight was about to break out. "I honestly want to know what's wrong with you, alright? Is that so hard to believe?"

"Why does something have to be wrong with me?" Eren snapped, standing up from the couch. "Why is it always that _I_ do something wrong? Has the possibility of you fucking up ever crossed your mind?"

"Well if I did, fucking tell me!" Jean fumed.

Eren rolled his eyes. "You mean your bitch over there couldn't have told you already, hn?" Marco made a confused face. He wasn't even insulted, he was just honestly confused. What would Eren have said if he wasn't standing there, he wondered.

Jean gripped onto Eren's collar pulling him towards him. "Say one more bad thing about Marco, I swear to god, Eren."

"Of course, he's just fucking perfect, isn't he?" Jean bawled his fist up, ready to slam it into Eren's face when Marco jumped in. He grabbed onto Jean's hand and pulled it off of Eren.

"Stop it!" He yelled, pushing the two away from each other. He turned to Eren, looking almost angry at him. "You can insult me all you want to if that helps with your ego problem." Eren opened his mouth to retort, but Marco cut him off. "Stop dodging the god damn bullet and answer his fucking question. You're dating him, you owe him that much."

Jean looked surprised by the words that came out of his mouth, and Eren just looked even angrier. "Don't act like you know everything that happens between us. Or what a relationship's even like." Eren retorted. "You always try to play high and mighty but you don't have a clue what you're talking about, Our problems are between us, I didn't know having someone here to defend him was necessary."

"I don't care!" Marco exclaimed. "You would do the exact same thing for Armin, so don't even try it."

Jean brushed Marco off and then turned to Eren. "Are you really that upset I brought Marco along? What, are you jealous, or something?" Eren looked away from him, staring at the ground. Jean let out a sigh. "You wanna know why I brought him? So I wouldn't get mad. So that I wouldn't start yelling at you again, and I'd actually be able to figure out what's wrong with you lately."

Eren looked up at him, almost like he was trying to figure out if it was bullshit or not. Jean didn't give him the chance to figure it out and kept talking. "It's pretty clear that you don't want to talk about it.. Or you don't know yourself, so I guess I'll just leave it alone until you're ready to talk.." He mumbled. Eren eyed Marco, his blood still boiling over his words before he turned to Jean. Jean was getting ready to leave, but Eren grabbed a hold of his hand. The anger that was visible on his face seemed to dissolve as he pulled Jean closer.

"Jean, wait..." He paused, placing his hand around his neck and pulling him down into a kiss. Marco turned away, his stomach twisting into knots at how horrible it felt to look at that. Jean kissed him back, pulling away with a smile on his face. Eren sighed and looked to the ground. "I...I don't know."

"That's alright." Jean breathed, pulling his hand away from his neck and lacing their fingers together. "Just, talk to me when you're ready, alright?" Eren nodded. Jean turned and headed towards the door, Marco holding his breath as he tried to block out the images that were burning in his mind right now. He turned to follow Jean when he heard a laugh emit from the brunette behind him. Jean had already made his way out the door as Marco turned to face Eren.

"You're really obvious." Eren commented.

Marco stared at the smirk on Eren's lips, his body not able to understand how to handle all of the anger that was rising in him. He couldn't even form words at the moment.

"Even if we do break up, Jean's not ever going to fall for you, you know." Eren stepped closer to the freckled man, crossing his arms like he just beat him. "You know how much shit he's said about you? All the things he's complained about that you've done? If Jean ever da-" Eren was caught off by the force of a fist slamming into his cheek. The punch was so strong that it knocked Eren backward, and on the ground completely unconscious. Marco held his fist in the air for a moment, the anger that went through him only feeling slightly released.

He wasn't stupid, he knew what Eren was trying to do, and he'd be damned if he let that asshole use him like that. He stood there for a moment, dropping his hand to his side and letting out a deep breath, calming his nerves. He had never lost his temper like that before, and he didn't even regret it at the moment. Eren really was something else. Who was he trying to fool? He called _him_ obvious? Marco stared down at the brunette he just knocked out and rolled his eyes. He couldn't just leave him like that.

Even though he didn't really want to, Marco picked Eren up and laid him across the couch so that he at least didn't seem out of the ordinary to his roommate. As far as anyone was concerned, Eren just passed out while studying. Marco looked at the paper sprawled out and decided to leave Eren a message. He picked up one of the pencils sprawled about and scribbled something down. He then quickly went out after Jean, hoping that he didn't make him wait long enough to feel the need to come back in here. He had no idea how he would explain this to him.

* * *

Marco came home, still in a pretty bad mood over the whole thing that happened. He had Jean just take him home after the whole ordeal, his head kept going back to all the shit that Eren had said and his anger would stir up again, only for Marco to try and shove it to the back of his mind.

He didn't think to look around and check for Bertholdt, he just went straight for the bathroom, really needing to pee. The thought that Bertholdt might've been in there didn't even cross his mind, but his stomach dropped as soon as his hand went to turn the knob, only to stay in place. "Not now..." Marco breathed, really not sure if he had the energy to deal with this today. "Bertholdt...?" He called out. There wasn't much noise for a moment, but the handle jiggled for a second before the taller man pulled the door open.

He was just brushing his teeth.

Marco smiled at him. "Hah, sorry, I just have to pee real quick."

"O-Oh-" Bertholdt breathed, looking flustered as he wasn't sure whether to take the tooth brush with him or not. Deciding to, Bertholdt turned the water off from the sink and stepped out side, holding his tooth brush in his hand as he let Marco past him. He stood next to the door, staring at his toothbrush and trying to keep himself from swallowing all of the toothpaste in his mouth.

It felt like forever before a flush was heard and a moment later Marco stepped out. "Sorry, Are you getting ready for something?" He questioned, noticing that Bertholdt had just gotten out of the shower not too long ago, from his damp looking hair.

"Ah, Maybe, I'm not sure yet." Bertholdt said, his mouth full of toothpaste. He walked to the sink to spit the foam out, then rinsed his mouth out. "Reiner said him and some friends were gonna go out but..."

Marco raised his eyebrows up, trying to get him to say more. Bertholdt's face dropped and he sighed. "I-I don't know, I don't really know everyone that well and I always feel like they hate me when I'm around them, and that they're making fun of me when I'm not paying attention.."

The shorter of the two gave a sheep shrug. "Well...Normally I would try to convince you to go out but... You think we could talk for a bit...?"

Bertholdt's face looked surprised, putting his toothbrush down and staring at his friend. "Y-yeah of course, what's wrong..? Did something happen?"

"Besides knocking Eren unconscious? Nah"

"You _what?_" Bertholdt exclaimed. He looked shocked and like he might have been blown over if there was a gust of wind blowing through right then. "I- What?!"

Marco waved a hand in the air, trying to dismiss the drama that was attached to his statement. "Ah, it was just between me and him, but.. I've got a bad feeling about them now."

The taller of the two looked around before glancing at his room. "Did you want to sit and talk?" Marco nodded in agreement and they headed towards his room. For the most part, they usually always talked about things in Marco's room, so it was weird actually being in his roommate's for a change.

There were sketchbook and art utensils sprawled out all over the place, his desk covered in paper. Bertholdt has his bed tucked away in the corner, an eisel in the center of the room. He had a tv in here, but Marco was pretty sure he hardly ever used it. The most he saw Bertholdt use was his radio and speakers to listen to music when he drew things. Bertholdt plopped onto his bed and watched as Marco took a seat next to him.

"What made you punch Eren...?" He asked, curious. Marco had to of been mad enough to do something like that and he was pretty sure that he'd never seen his friend really that mad at anything.

"Ah, I'll explain it. But really, I feel like Eren's trying to do something really stupid.. I mean.. He just played off Jean like it was nothing when I was there. Like, he couldn't care less how Jean felt." Marco let out a sigh and decided to explain the whole story to his friend.

"So yeah.. Then I punched him and left with Jean..."

"...Wow..." Bertholdt breathed, completely fascinated by the story. "He really said that to you?"

"Well, something like that.. But my point is, I think he acted that way with Jean to spite me though.."

"But what reason would he have to do something like that? Besides being.. You know.. An ass..." Bertholdt started to twiddle his thumbs, worrying for his friend. In a way, he felt like Marco might have been over exaggerating, but he had no reason to disbelieve him. Besides, Eren was always over reacting to everything anyway.

"Because.." Marco puffed out his cheeks thinking. "I just.. I think he wants me to tell Jean about it.." Bertholdt raised an eyebrow, not following his friend's train of thought. "Like.. I get this feeling that Eren.. He's trying to break up with Jean, but he doesn't know how.. So he's just pissing him off until he does.."

"Hm..." Bertholdt hummed. His thoughts were cut off by the buzzing of his phone. He jumped for it, knowing right away it was Reiner. Marco smiled, letting out a sigh. "H-Hello?" Bertholdt answered right away, immediately chewing his nails, extremely flustered. "Ah- Y-Yeah I know.. Oh.. Yeah? Why?.. Alright... Okay...Ahh...O-One second..." Bertholdt pulled the phone towards his chest and turned towards Marco. His eyes looked desperate. "Everyone else canceled, he wants me to go over to his dorm!" He breathed.

"_Get it in._" Marco joked, causing Bertholdt's face to burn red as he slapped a hand on his face and pulled the phone back to his ear.

"Ah! Yes! I-I mean yeah, that's fine." Bertholdt shook his head regretting the way he answered. There was a silence and then Bertholdt said bye and hung up his phone. He let out a breath and then turned to Marco. "_Why_ did you _say that?!_ "

Marco started laughing and put his hand in the air. "Don't hit me, I'm sorry" He chuckled pretending to be completely defenseless. Bertholdt pulled his collar up wanting to die from embarrassment.

"Ahh! I'm sorry Marco, he's gonna be here soon and we were talking-"

"No, no, it's fine. One of us needs to get laid around here." Marco smirked. Bertholdt shot him a look as he ran around his room, frantically trying to get ready to hang out with Reiner. He looked towards his friend and then sat down again with him.

"Alright.. We can at least talk until he gets here then..?" Marco shook his head.

"Nah, he'll be here soon, but..." Marco trailed off , extending his hand out towards his friend, his pinky the only finger pointed towards him. "Can you promise me something?" Bertholdt looked down at his pinky, his face dropping. "Will you promise not to puke again?"


	4. Chapter 4

Food. It was gross. It was disgusting. Why did it have to exist? Why did it have to sit there and taunt him, make him want it so badly? It made him nauseas to stare at the food that sat in front of him. He wasn't ready for this, he didn't know how to handle it.

"Come on, it's not gonna bite you!" Bertholdt snapped out of his train of thought, staring up to the well built, masculine blond that sat across from him. They were sitting at a table, a box of pizza in the center. Steam was swirling in the air, dispersing into nothingness from the hot pizza. The cheese was cooked to a nice golden color and the pepperoni had a slight crispy texture around the edges.

Bertholdt put his hands up "I-I didn't pay for this, I couldn-"

"So? That just means you got the next pizza then, right?" Reiner joked. He picked up the plate in his hand, slapping a few more pieces on it, and then directing Bertholdt towards the living room. The dark haired man stared at his empty plate, and then got up and followed Reiner. The two sat down on the couch, Reiner taking the remote and turning the TV on. "What's something we can watch...?" He pulled up the TV guide up, and went to the on demand feature. "What kind of movies do you like?"

"O-oh, I don't know...Whatever is fine." Reiner turned away from the TV and looked at Bertholdt.

"Dude," He rolled his eyes as he slid his plate to him. "Eat some damn pizza or I'll shove it down your throat. Stop feeling so bad about it!"

"N-no really, I'm fine-"

"-It's Pizza!"

"I, uh actually before I left I ate-"

"_Pizza_ though!" Reiner pushed, taking a slice and taking a large bite out of it. Bertholdt chuckled and then stared down at the plate Reiner pushed in front of him. Any appetite he might've had seemed to vanish. For a moment, it felt like the steam that was rising from the pizza were turning into odd shapes that seemed to mock him.

He felt like he was going to puke.

Bertholdt pushed the plate back towards Reiner and let out a wheezy breathe. "Please, I"m really not hungry."

The blond raised an eyebrow to his friend, but shrugged it off. "More for me." He stated, looking back at the screen. "Ah! Have you seen this movie?" Reiner asked, getting excited.

Bertholdt turned to the screen and read the title that was highlighted. "Django? What's that?"

"What's that?! Ohh, we're watching it, it's so good!" Reiner hit the play button and then kicked his feet up, leaning back in the couch. "It's about slavery and shit, it's great."

"Ooh, I think I've heard about this." Bertholdt responded, a slight memory of a trailer ringing a bell.

The movie started, and even though Bertholdt wasn't that big on action movies, he did find himself rather engulfed in the movie. Reiner was all about the movie, damn near freaking out over every line that Django would spit out. The dark haired man would find himself laughing more at Reiner's reaction's than anything else. There was more gore in it than Bertholdt would really be able to stomach so there were a couple times where he had to look away, or bury his face, while the blond would exclaim how awesome it was.

It was towards the end of the movie where Bertholdt felt a strong pain in his stomach. He curled up, trying to play it off as getting comfortable, but it just looked so awkward. His head felt foggy and his skin grew pale. He felt like he was about to pass out. Bertholdt put a hand to his head, his mouth began to salivate quickly and the whole room started to spin. Not now, no not here.

"Bertholdt...?" Reiner's voice broke in through all the mess, but he wasn't able to focus on it. His vision started to go black, and before he knew it, he had completely passed out.

He didn't know how long it had been until he came back to, but his stomach felt horrible. His head felt really light as well, he tried to sit up, but he just felt so comfortable lying wherever he was.

"Hey!" Reiner suddenly appeared in his line of vision, hovering over him. He looked worried. "You passed out man, you feeling alright?"

"...I..." Bertholdt groaned.

"When's the last time you ate, man?" Reiner asked holding out a hand to help the skinner man sit up. Bertholdt thought about the question, and he couldn't honestly give him an answer. The only time that popped into his head was actually the last time he hung out with Reiner, but he wasn't about to tell him that.

"I think...yesterday..."

"Yesterday? You said you ate before you came over. No wonder you passed out. Here." Reiner offered him a glass of water, and Bertholdt took it. He took a small sip of it and then looked up to the blond.

* * *

"How long as I out for?"

"Not even a minute. Still long enough to freak me out man. You just sort of fell over." Reiner chuckled. "For a second I thought you were trying to play off a really bad 'oops I feel asleep on you' type of thing, but yeah" Reiner chuckled at how red Bertholdt got.

"N-No" Bertholdt breathed, feeling embarrassed.

"Yeah, that would've been really bad if you had.. Anyway," Reiner straighted his back out, throwing his arms up to stretch. "I don't think pizza's something you want to eat after passing out, right? Or does that not matter?"

"I-I'm fine now.." Bertholdt stuttered. "The water helped."

Reiner cocked an eyebrow. He decided not to question him, but head towards the kitchen instead. "You like Bread? That's fine to have right?"

Bertholdt winced. "Bread makes you fat.." He replied, more so to himself than anything.

Reiner turned back to his friend, a loaf of bread in his hand. "So? You look like you could use the weight, man. You're skinnier than a twig man."

Bertholdt bit his lip. His eyes landing on Reiner's hands. He watched as they fumbled with the twist-tie and pulled out a piece. His eyes widened as the hand extended towards him. No, it was gross, he wasn't going to eat that.

"I-I don't want that."

"What? Bertholdt, you just passed out, you should really eat something." Reiner explained, completely taken away by how picky he was being. Bertholdt's heart slammed against his chest. He wanted to run out of the room, go home and forget about ever thinking about this.

He couldn't.

So instead, he took the piece of bread and held it. He slowly brought it towards his lips, taking a small bite out of it.

It made him feel disgusting.

* * *

"No, no, see when you carry the number over, you have to take the rest of it with you, you can't leave it behind, other wise it'll get you all screwed up." Levi pointed towards the problem on the paper, pointing out a specific number. "Then from there, you take from the two sides and then just condense it to the smallest number."

"Ahh..." Eren stared at the paper, raising an eyebrow as he tried to follow along with Levi. "But what happens to this number though?"

"You take it with you when you carry it over."

"...But.."

Levi looked around his desk before sliding over to his pencil holder and grabbing a handful of them. "Alright, watch. See how these are pencils, and then these are pens? Pretend like the pens are the..."

Eren looked at his teacher's hands as he went about explaining the problem to him. His vibrant teal eyes watched his hands moving about. They looked beautiful, his thin fingers delicately holding the pencils, and his nails were spotless. The brunette bit his lip, staring at his thin wrist, and the detail of his veins running through his hands. Levi had his sleeves rolled back to his elbows, his forearms exposed as well. Eren couldn't help but stare at how the muscle shaped the way his forearm curved into his wrist and then extended out into his hands, he never thought he could be so attracted to a pair of hands before, but here he was eye fucking the shit out of them.

"...So in the end you still have the pens here and pencils here. Got it?"

Eren blinked out of his trance and nodded. "Oh, uh yeah. I think I got it now, it makes sense."

"Good, now hand all the assignments you've gotten down so far so I can put them in the system." Levi pushed himself away from his desk, and strolled over to his computer, tucked to the corner of the room. He leaned over his keyboard, bringing up his grading book, and digging through the class list until he got the one he was looking for.

Eren watched him for a moment before digging into his backpack and pulling out the few assignments he had finished. He walked over towards Levi and handed them to him.

Levi set them down in front of him and then glanced over each one as he put in the grades. "You're still at a D." He commented, handing the papers back.

Eren groaned. "How? I've done like, a lot of these assignments already, I should at least be at a C, right?"

Levi shrugged. "Assignments aren't worth as much as tests... You bombed the last three we had, so it'll still be a few more assignments before you can dig yourself out of that."

Eren let out an irritated sigh as he walked back towards Levi's desk, taking a seat he had been in previously. Levi followed and then looked at his notes. "You're doing good enough now, you've been getting all the assignments done like I asked, and if anything, you might just be a bit ahead for now...Well, ahead at being behind I guess."

Eren nodded, looking at his list for the next assignment he had to work on. "I just want to get it all out of the way now..."

"Yeah, that'd be the best thing to do." Levi chuckled as he took a seat in his chair and leaned back, propping his ankle on his knee. "You got another bruise, I see..."

Eren rolled his eyes. "Don't remind me..."

"Your boyfriend again?"

"No, it was his friend actually." Eren commented, rubbing his cheek where Marco had punched him.

"What did you do to get his friend to punch you?" Levi inquired.

Eren just shrugged. "Pissed him off I guess.." He trailed off to when that whole incident had happened. He couldn't even really remember what he had said to Marco, just that he was furious, and before he knew it, he was completely blacked out. When he came to, he had a pounding headache, and it took a minute to realize it hadn't been a dream either. When he looked around, he noticed Marco had written on one of his notebooks. All it said was _'Sorry, but you deserved it.'_ He just threw it aside and went on with his day.

"Are you just a magnet for angry people, or something?"

Eren rolled his eyes to the comment. "I guess I'm just good at getting people angry, I don't know."

"Who's his friend?" Levi asked, really not sounding too interested in the conversation, but Eren could never really tell, even if he was.

"Marco." Eren commented.

Levi paused for a moment, his face going into deep thought. "...Bodt?"

Eren looked at him and nodded. "Yeah...How do you know him?"

"He's in one of my classes... He's a good kid, how'd you manage to piss him off?" The remark made Eren roll his eyes. Levi just raised an eyebrow.

"He's got a crush on Jean." Eren looked down at his assignment and started writing out the first problem. His teacher just chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"You're such a drama queen, Eren."

"What? I am not!"

Levi leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. "Oh please. I might not talk to my students much, but you've got your relationship problem with.. Jean or whoever, and now there's this kid that likes your man and you get defensive about it, when you don't even want to date the guy in the first place."

"I never said that..."

"You might as well have." Levi commented. "Eren, It really just sounds like one big unhealthy mess, you should really make up your mind."

"What are you, my marriage counselor?" Eren snapped.

"I might as well be. You don't know what the fuck you're doing anyway."

Eren just stared at his teacher. He knew he didn't love Jean anymore, in fact, he would even say that he didn't even want to be his friend at this point. The obvious decision would be to just break up with him, but Eren just couldn't bring it in himself to do it. He knew it was gonna hurt, and he knew Jean would hurt the most. Even if, by some chance Jean didn't like Eren anymore, just the concept of being dumped hurts. The brunette looked back towards his teacher, his eyes staring at his thin and toned body. His shoulders were rounded with muscle and just from the lose button around his neck, Eren could see that despite how small he was, he had a well toned body. His face went red for a moment as he turned away. Sometimes he didn't understand himself.

He couldn't, for the life of him, decide on how to break up with his boyfriend, but he was about 100% certain that he wanted to fuck his teacher.

* * *

**A/N:** Yaaay the story is finally getting started :D ALL THE PROBLEMS AND CONFLICTS ARE COMING UP, YES.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Depression and eating disorder are present in this, so if this is a trigger for you, you've been warned. Thanks for reading! c:

* * *

Silence.

It really was a blessing to have every now and again, especially with a big test coming up. Flipping through page after page, and re-reading line after line from a text book, it helped make it easier when there weren't a pair of idiots screaming at each other over a goddamn sandwich.

"Nn..." Armin chewed mercilessly at the end of his pen. His blue eyes scanned over words from the book that was sprawled out in front of him, his whole being completely absorbed in his studies. The sound of the front door cracked into his concentration, but just barely. The blond slid his finger under the next page, his eyes scanning the last few words before he flipped it and continued reading.

Light footsteps were heard pattering around outside of his door, most likely towards the bathroom, he assumed. Armin continued studying away, taking the pen from his mouth and placing it on the sentence his eyes had captured. After re-reading it, he jotted down a quick note and then moved on to the next paragraph.

There was a flush of the toilet, and a pause before the soft foots steps made it's way towards his room. The pen had been returned to his lips, his brain soaking up as much information as it could at the moment. He already knew most of the details he was reading about, but he didn't want to risk missing anything that might have ended up being on his test. Even he was currently in a deep concentration, the sound of his roommate wandering around their dorm was still able to distract him from studying. Armin subconsciously found himself counting down the seconds before a loud commotion would erupt and he would have to jump out of his studies to stop it. His concentration dwindled down to a bare minimum as he strained his ears to listen for any noise outside of his room.

From what he heard earlier, Jean was going out to spend the day with Marco or Eren, one of the two, he wasn't entirely sure. Regardless of who he spent time with, Jean almost always came home in an angry mood nowadays. So much to the point that Armin was trained to expect it already. If he hung out with Eren, there was always something about a fight that the two got into because of something stupid. If he decided to hang out with Marco, somehow they would still end up fighting over the phone or through a text message of some sort. It was just beyond ridiculous at this point.

After Armin's inner count down had already hit zero and found it's way further in the negatives, he couldn't help put pull his head away from his book entirely. He raised an eyebrow, still wondering if he had just missed the obvious signal that Jean was mad. There was no door slam, there wasn't any mumbling under his breath going on, and random objects weren't being thrown about in a less than gentle way.

So, could it possibly be that Jean actually, for once, wasn't mad?

Armin bookmarked his page and then scooted away from his desk, deciding on seeing just what might have happened to keep Jean from wrecking the place. The blond pulled his door open and glanced down the hallway. No random noises so far.. In fact he think he heard Jean whistling.

"Jean?" Armin called out, walking down the hallway. He looked in the living room and saw his dorm partner sitting on the couch, hands behind his head, and a smile on his face. Despite the fact that Armin sometimes thought of Jean as an asshole, he was still glad to see his friend in such a good mood. "What's got you all giddy?" He asked.

Jean turned his attention towards Armin. "Hey!" He smiled. "Ah, I just came back from Eren's. I mean, I wasn't there that long - but like-" Jean shifted from his position on the couch, leaning forward now, with his elbows resting on his knees. "-We didn't fight! I mean, he tried to, but like- Marco was there and, it was just-" Jean struggled with trying to find the right words. There was a bright smile on his face, his eyes full of happiness currently. It had been a long time that Jean had ever looked like that and it was a nice difference. His eyes shifted downward as a blush crept over his face. "Well..It was just weird.. I had that feeling again.. Like how it used to be, you know?"

"Between...?" Armin questioned, resting against the wall as he listened to his friend. "You and Marco...? Or Eren?"

"What kind of question is that? Eren, why would I feel anything towards Marco?" Jean chuckled. "I meant like, when we first started dating." The blond's face didn't change at all, he just wore a blank expression. He wanted to call bullshit on him, but that was a different thing entirely. Besides, the same probably could've been said about how Eren and Armin were before the two dated, so he guessed he probably shouldn't judge. Can't be close to someone with out being mistaken for their significant other, right? "I tried to get him to talk to me, but he wouldn't.. So I just gave up on it.. And it seemed like the anger just kind of vanished between us, you know?"

"Mm," Armin hummed, crossing his arms. "That definitely sounds a lot healthier than your previous attempts at communication."

"Shut the fuck up, man." Jean rolled his eyes. "I'm stubborn, I get it."

"Nah, the two of you are both equally stubborn." Armin chuckled.

"Regardless." Jean continued, holding out a hand as if to stop him from saying anything else. "I think it went really well, and I bet if I'm just patient enough, he'll finally open up to me and we'll be fight-free like before."

"Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it." The blond grinned. "I'm glad you were mature about it. Eren's got some of his own problems, letting him sort it out first is the best thing to do."

Jean nodded in agreement. "Yeah..Just gotta learn to keep my mouth shut... I should just keep Marco at my side at all times, shouldn't I?" He joked, smile still on his face.

"Is that why he was there with you?" Armin's face dropped a bit. If Jean had ever been oblivious to something as much as he was stubborn his relationship with Marco definitely took the cake. Literally _everyone_ could tell that Marco was head over heels about Jean, _except_ for Jean. Hell, people had even tried to tell the idiot and he just waved it off every single time as _"We're just really close."_ Armin questioned whether Jean really didn't see it, or just ignored the hell out of it for his own comfort.

Regardless of what it was, it definitely wasn't fair to Marco.

"Ah, yeah, I asked him to come so he'd cut me off, from being an ass and fighting again." Jean let out a sigh. "I really don't mean to alway fight him, but goddamn.. At least with Marco there, it made things better.. It's weird, but he always helps me stay pretty calm.."

"Probably because he's a pretty calm person himself." Jean just shrugged in response. "But really though, I wouldn't drag Marco around like that."

"Why's that? He's always nagging me to hang out anyway." The darker haired man questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Completely oblivious. "You amaze me sometimes..." Armin rolled his eyes and then pushed himself off of the wall

"What? Why? Armin!" Jean stood up from his spot ready to go after the blond, but Armin stopped and just stared at his friend.

"Think of it like this," He paused for a moment, putting a finger to his lips in contemplation. "How would you like to be dragged around by Marco, to go and spend time with...say.. Bertholdt?"

Jean scrunched his eyebrows together. "Wait, are those two dating?"

Armin just let out a sigh, letting his hands drop to his side. "Just.. Nevermind, Jean.. Nevermind..." On that note, Armin turned on his heel and walked backed towards his room. He kind of wished he never left his room in the first place, his studies were going so good until he decided to talk to Jean.

* * *

Sometimes, getting through the day seemed like a lifelong journey. Sometimes, it felt like being placed on a conveyor belt and doing nothing but staring at the black strip that pulled him forward. On certain days it felt like falling from a building still couldn't keep the numbness in his veins from going anywhere. It often felt like his whole world around him was put on pause and he was left to wander in between all the frozen action. His brain always felt clouded, his veins felt empty, and his passion for anything completely void.

This was one of those unbearable days.

Marco laid in his bed, lights off and completely motionless. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling, and his arms were sprawled out across the sheets. He couldn't even say that it was only sometimes. He always felt like this. Some days he was just better at tucking it away and ignoring it. Unfortunately, he just couldn't keep it bottled up on this night. His thoughts were spiraling downward into a completely hopeless mess. He couldn't help himself from thinking the way he did, no matter how hard he tried.

No one cared. No one would ever care. He didn't even care, so who would actually give a shit about him? His heart pumped weakly, delivering a sharp pain through his system each time. It was hard to explain the feelings he had, trying to think of the right words so someone would understand what he was going through felt impossible. It was probably why he always kept it bottled up.

Marco couldn't stop replaying the scene with Eren in his head over and over again. He felt embarrassed by his actions, and he wished he could've taken back what he did. Eren was right. He knew it too, Jean wouldn't ever love him. Why would he? How could Marco even begin to think it was okay to even think about Jean romantically? How could Jean even stand him as it was?

He probably didn't even like him as a friend to begin with..

It was why Jean always blew him off, right? It was why every time they did hang out, Eren would always end up in the mix somehow, or Marco would be dropped off sooner than they originally planned just so he could spend time with his boyfriend. It was because Jean never actually wanted to spend time with him in the first place, he probably just pitied him.

Before he registered it, Marco was crying. It wasn't heavy, but the tears had fallen, and were rolling down the sides of his face. He felt the warmth trickle towards his ears, soaking his hair on the way. The freckled man choked back a sob and then turned on his side, wiping his tears away.

A second later, he heard the sound of the door burst open. He didn't even flinch. There was some shuffling going about, a loud cry coming out from his roommate's mouth as he fumbled around inside. Bertholdt didn't even bother turning on a single light, he just ran straight for the bathroom, tears staining his face. It was bad this time, and Marco knew it. He didn't even have to listen for the first gag, he could tell that was why his roommate was running so fast to the bathroom.

A moment later and his guess was confirmed. Marco shut his eyes, pulling himself into a ball, and trying to block out the noises. The flow of tears thickened, his heart taking a painful tug on his emotions.

'Help him.' The freckled man screamed at himself. 'He needs you, go help him! He needs you!' The sound of another gag echoed through his mind, but he just couldn't find the strength to pull himself up. His friend sobbed loudly, screaming to himself about being wrong and stupid, aiming for some kind of outlet.

Marco's throat felt thick, but he couldn't listen to it anymore. He couldn't let himself feel like more of a piece of shit than he already is. He turned his head towards his door, slowly deciding on sending the signal to the rest of his body to move. With a slow movement, he finally pulled himself out of his bed and then tumbled towards the bathroom. Bertholdt hadn't even closed the door, it was wide open, his body wrapped around the toilet bowl, and his fingers clutching to the side as his head hung over it. Marco couldn't even find any words, his whole body just collapsed next to his roommates.

Bertholdt jolted upwards, his eyes widening when he felt Marco's body fall next to his. He turned to face him, his stomach in a tight knot. Marco pulled Bertholdt's arms away from the toilet and shifted his body into the taller mans. He buried his face in his shoulder, his arms wrapped tightly around Bertholdt. The action surprised him, but what was even more surprising was the seeing Marco crying.

Why...?

"..I don't..." Marco's voice cracked. "I don't want to live anymore..."


	6. Chapter 6

Levi stood in front of his chalk board, a piece of chalk in one hand, and his planner in the other. His eyes scanned over the small notebook in his palm before he pressed the chalk to the board. He was currently scribbling out the plan for the next class he had, going over in his head if their previous session had gotten as far as he hoped it did. The shorter man thought he heard the door squeak open, but he didn't turn to look until he heard the sound of a bag drop next to his desk.

When his eyes met his student's, he definitely wasn't prepared for it. Eren stood there staring at him, his face full of tears, and his shoulders shaking. "..." Levi set the piece of chalk down on it's holder, and just waited for Eren to say something.

"L-Levi.." He choked out. For a moment, Levi thought this was some kind of test. He quickly peeked at the door behind Eren, but there weren't any signals to confirm it. Unsure of what to do, Levi just walked towards Eren, setting his planner down on the desk.

"What're you cryin-" He was cut off when Eren threw his arms around his teacher, burying his head into Levi's shoulder.

"I-I just- I needed to talk to s-someone." The brunette barely spat out. Levi felt his skin crawl with the contact, every nerve in his body telling him to shove the kid off of him, but that was just too cruel. Instead, Levi opted for gently placing his hands on Eren's shoulders and pulling him back.

His eyes scanned around his classroom for a moment until they locked onto his back room. He felt panic run through him at the scene right now. He didn't want some faculty member walking by and getting the wrong idea, but this happened all the time right? Students always came crying to their teachers, did'nt they?

He figured it was unlikely so he took his chances and then nodded towards the back room. "C'mon, we'll talk in there." Levi went ahead first, his mind still racing with panic over the idea that someone might see and take it the wrong way. He never thought he would ever have a fear of losing his job, but his biggest fear was what kind of word would get around if someone did spread misinformation.

Levi looked down at Eren as he walked into the back room. He wiped away the tears on his face and then just stood awkwardly, waiting for Levi.

Why was he thinking like this anyway? Eren was crying, not trying to fuck him. How could anyone get the wrong idea out of something like that?

The teacher quietly closed the door behind him and then brought his gaze towards his student. "Hey..." He breathed out, grabbing Eren's attention. "Take a deep breath through your nose." Eren nodded, making an attempt to do as he said, but his breath would sputter from crying. After doing it enough times, the brunette managed to calm down enough. Levi wasn't sure what to do with himself, so he just leaned against the door, his arms crossed. "Now..What's wrong?"

Eren felt a sob ready to come out, but he pushed it away. "I..I'm...such a piece of shit.."

"Over?" Levi wasn't the best person to come to when it came to this sort of thing. In fact he was probably one of the worst people to come to, since he had an act for making everyone usually feel worse about themselves.

"Everything." Eren breathed, slumping back against the wall. He wiped his face again, and sniffled. "I can't do it. I can't break up with him." Levi let out a sigh and turned his head away from the brunette. He didn't really have the time to act as his relationship counselor, but for some reason, he felt like it was okay to do it for Eren. "And on top of that, when I decide I want to talk to someone about it, the only option I have is a fucking teacher."

"Better than nothing." Levi remarked.

A tiny smile spread out on Eren's lips, his face looking soft and gentle. His eyes were so innocent and calm. It was a weird feeling, but Levi didn't actually like to see Eren hurting like this. "Yeah..." The brunette breathed. "I can't believe this is so hard to do.."

"What's making it so hard for you?" Levi asked, taking a step away from the door. Eren felt the urge to want to shift towards his teacher, but he held it back.

"He's still so happy around me. He wants to make me happy again, and I just can't do that to him.." Eren turned his head to look at his teacher, deciding to go for that urge he had a moment ago. He slid his body off of the wall, and took a step towards Levi, reaching his arms out. "That...and..."

Levi had just assumed that Eren was going to go for another hug, but his mind had completely stopped when something else happened. Eren had pressed his lips into Levi's.

The brunette brought his hands up to cup Levi's face, pressing harder against his teachers lips in hopes to get a reaction.

For a long moment, Levi didn't move. His brain had completely stopped functioning. The feeling of Eren's finger tips around his neck made his skin crawl, and his soft lips flickering off of his made his stomach turn. Levi finally came back from his minor shock, and immediately pulled Eren's hands away from him, breaking their kiss and pushing him away.

The brunette held a look of rejection on his face, but he quickly hid it. "I-"

"Leave." Levi had barely breathed the words, but they were sharp nonetheless.

"Levi, this isn'-"

"_Leave._" He reinforced, taking a step to the side to allow Eren to direct himself out.

Eren gave up on trying to say anything. He hesitated before letting out a sigh and walking out.

Levi was left standing there, completely confused. He slowly brought his finger tips to his lips and brushed along them. He was just kissed.

By his own student.

* * *

A painful cramp and a few sore joints was all it took to wake Bertholdt. His eyes fluttered open, a weight on his chest that he wasn't used to. His mind hadn't quite booted up yet, but his eyes took in the image of the bathroom. His eyes were burning and felt almost sticky.

That was right. He had been crying. And then Marco-

"-Marco!" Bertholdt jolted up, his eyes wide and panic running through him. Glancing down at the heavy weight on top of him, the panic subsided. He was still here, he had fallen asleep with him last night in here. Bertholdt's throat felt sore, and he concluded that it was probably due to all of the puking he did last night. His eyes landed on his shorter friend and he felt his heart sink.

He had promised..

Bertholdt ignored the pain in his throat and then used his long arms to pull his friend closer against him. He hugged him, Marco's head just under Bertholdt's chin. "..I-I'm sorry.." He breathed, feeling his eyes water.

The body under him finally started to move, Marco waking up in a similar manner to him. His eyes fluttered open as he stared up at the man in front of him. He felt the warmth of someone's embrace, and his heart had tricked him into thinking that it might have actually of been Jean. Of course it wasn't.

Bertholdt loosened his grip slightly around Marco, but he didn't stop hugging him. " I shouldn't have promised.. I should've..."

"Sh..." Marco hushed, turning his head to the side and listening to Bertholdt's heart beat. "I get it.."

"..." Bertholdt blinked away the tears that were getting ready to fall, and just continued to hold their embrace. He felt Marco's hands wrap around his back and a small smile broke out on his lips.

"Bertholdt..." His eyes shot to his freckled friend, swearing that if he had asked him for anything else, he would do it without hesitating. "Can...Can you let me just pretend?"

"...Pretend...?" Bertholdt breathed, a look of confusion on his face. Marco lifted his head and stared into the darker eyes watching him.

"Yeah..." Marco began to pull his body upward, bringing his face closer to Bertholdt's. "Just let me..." He closed his eyes as he leaned in closer, his nose brushing against the taller man's. He didn't finish his sentence as he lightly pressed his lips against the pair in front of his.

Bertholdt felt panic run through his body, his heart racing as he slowly pieced together what Marco was asking of him. How? How could Marco even pretend he was something as beautiful looking as Jean? Bertholdt was hideous. He was gross, and he always ate too much. His stomach was flabby and disgusting, how could Marco think that Jean's would be anything in comparison to his?

Despite all of those thoughts, Bertholdt still leaned into the kiss. Their lips flickered off one another's like a flame, the warmth of the embrace sparking a wave of electricity between the two. Bertholdt closed his eyes, mimicking Marco's rhythm. He couldn't help but wonder to himself, would Reiner kiss anything like this...?

He felt his face flush to the image of the blond kissing him this way, a shock of want running through his body.

Their kiss broke for a moment, Marco's voice breaking into Bertholdt's fantasy. "..Jean..." He breathed, his eyes still closed as he hovered his face inches away from Bertholdt's. His expression completely changed, contorting into one of pain. " J-Jean..." He cried, a single tear breaking through. "Why...?"

"Marco..." Bertholdt pulled his hands away from their hug and instead placed them on his shoulders. "...I..." He paused, contemplating what it was he wanted to say. Marco's eyes opened and stared at him, waiting for his response. "...I don't want you to hurt. I don't want you to feel so much pain... If-..If I hurt, that's okay. If I'm in pain, it's all okay. And that's because... it's my pain that I'm holding on to... and it's my pain that I get to feel. This is my problem that I have, and I know..." He stopped for a moment, biting his lip. "I'm a hypocrite...What you said...last night..." His voice dropped down into a whisper, his head hanging low. "I don't want to live either..." His words hung in the air for a while, Marco wiping his tears as his eyes hung on to every word that he said. "But...For you I can. So.." Bertholdt brought his gaze to meet Marco's and then took his hand off of his friend's shoulder. He bawled his hand into a fist, leaving only his pinky extended. "...I go when you go."

"Bertholdt..." Marco huffed. "Don't say-"

"-S-stop!" Bertholdt cut him off. " I know, alright? I know..." His pinky still hung in the air. "It's not fair to you, but it's not fair to me either, okay? That's why I want to make this promise. I'm only going to be here if you are, and if you decide you can't handle it any longer, I'm following you..."

"So...live.. For each other..." Marco looked down at the pinky extended towards him. He stopped hesitating and quickly entangled his pinky with Bertholdt's. "I get it..." He mumbled. "Bertholdt, I.."

The taller of the two pulled his roommate back into a hug. Marco hugged back, biting his lip to keep from crying again. He was sick of crying. "..I know.. People always say that everyone gets stuck in this dark time in their life.. But.. I've been here for so long..." He let out a sigh. "It's been so dark, I can't remember what any other feeling might have felt like.. But.. Bertholdt..." Bertholdt's grip around Marco tightened when he heard his name. "It might not be any brighter, but at least I'm not alone in the dark...Thank you..." A smile spread across his lips as he remembered their kiss from a moment ago. "And thank you..for letting me pretend."

Bertholdt's face went red, as the ghost of Marco's lips glided over his own in his memory. "D-did you...want to keep pretending...?" It was a weird thing to ask and probably not a very healthy thing either, but Marco nodded. The two pulled away from one another and found themselves inches away from each other's lips yet again. Marco stared at Bertholdt's lips, before they both closed their eyes and closed in on each other. The two let their lips bounce off one another's as their minds pulled them into a fantasy world with the ones they were in love with.

It was a beautiful world, one where beauty existed in everyone and pain wasn't real. There was confidence and happiness, healthy bodies and healthy minds, and it was completely surrounded by love. Problems weren't real, and pressure was only used when talking about the weight on objects, not the weight on the mind. Everything was perfect, and full of light.

Even if it wasn't the real thing, it was still more satisfying than nothing.


	7. Chapter 7

Erwin sat at his desk, his eyes staring absentmindedly out the window of his classroom. His face was empty of any kind of emotion, and his eyes seemed to be in deep thought. The classroom didn't have a soul in it, his last class for the day had gotten out not even an hour ago. He had stayed after to grade some of the papers that were slowly piling up, but his mind just wasn't able to focus on it.

His thoughts were drifting back and forth, his eyes focused on nothing in particular. A knock on the door pulled his thoughts away from it, and his gaze towards his doorway. His heart sank slightly when he was met with the principal of the school. "Mr. Balto, sir.." Erwin greeted.

The heavier set man stepped in, an envelope under his arm. "Greetings, Erwin. You remember what we talked about last time, correct?"

"Of course." Erwin straightened his posture, watching his boss lean against one of the desks that were in front of him. He didn't even hesitate to go right into a conversation. It was like he literally picked up where the two had left off the last time they spoke.

"After that teacher got arrested, The school district's been in a bit of a mess. They've been calling me everyday about getting them a teacher down there, you know." The older man chuckled.

"I still don't think sending Levi down there is a good idea..." Erwin stated, cutting straight to the chase.

"I fail to see your point, Erwin, we've got about another week to get back to them, and I have to say, Levi is probably the best pick.. Unless you want to go and teach math?"

Erwin kept a straight face as he stared at Mr. Balto. "...I'm a history major." He stated. "Besides, Levi is one of our better Math teachers, he has the lowest percentage of failing students out of any of the other math teachers, and during finals, his students bring in the highest grades, and you want to fire that?" Erwin's eyes contorted into one of disbelief. "You even showed me yourself, without Levi, our math department wouldn't be as successful as it is."

"Levi's also the highest paid math teacher, he's just the first choice to go." The principal shrugged his shoulders and chuckled. "We can save more money by just hiring a new teacher instead of keeping him. And it's not like he's completely out of a job, he'll just be going to another school, and get a bit of a pay cut."

Erwin let out a sigh, feeling frustrated. "Won't we lose money in the long run if suddenly the math departments grades just plummet?"  
"Erwin, you're not giving your co-workers enough credit. Levi's just easily replaceable, I'm sorry." Mr. Balto cleared his throat and then pulled the envelope out from under his arm. "Anyway, the decision has already been made, there's no reason for us to keep him, so here," He handed the manila envelope over to Erwin, who took it with a sour look on his face. "I figured a close friend should be the one to give him that, and I'll see him in my office in a week." With a nod, the chubby man turned on his heel and walked out.

Erwin's shoulders caved in, his mind heavy. He let out a sigh and dropped his head into his hands, running his fingers through what used to be neatly combed blond hair. The envelope laid on top of his stack of ungraded work, Erwin trying to push the thought into the back of his mind.

He knew now that he would have to win his bet with Levi before the week was up.

* * *

"I gotta say, I'm pretty surprised you're not off hanging out with your boyfriend. I can't believe you were actually free today."

"Shut it, Jean." Jean chuckled at his broader friend, shoving his hands into his hoodie pocket. He looked at the blond while the two made their way into his apartment, getting ready to kick back and play some games. "You know, shouldn't I be throwing that line at you? You're the one who actually has a boyfriend, man."

Jean shrugged. "I think I spend less time with Eren than you do with Bertholdt." Jean quirked an eyebrow at Reiner. "Now that I say that, it does sound kind of suspicious."

Reiner rolled his eyes as the two approached their door. He pulled out a pair of keys and played with them for a minute. After finding the appropriate key, he stuck it into the lock and pulled open the door. The two stepped inside, Jean immediately tossing his bag against the wall, and next to the door. "If being in a relationship was determined by how much time we hung out with people, I'm pretty sure you take the cake with Marco."

"Marco?" Jean laughed, raising an eyebrow. "Dude, I've known him since we were kids, he doesn't count."

"Yeah, whatever." Reiner tossed his keys onto the coffee table and then threw his body onto the couch, taking a controller with him. "Cock o' duty?" the blond joked.  
"Eh, I'm kind of sick of Call of duty man. What else you got?" Jean made his way around towards the entertainment stand and browsed over the games that the blond had collected. "Boderlands?" Jean suggested.

Reiner shook his head. "The disc doesn't work."

"Halo?"

"Eh.."

"Yeah, I don't really want to play it either..." Jean went through another row of games before a smile cracked on his lips. "Oooh, hey, what about this game? I forgot all about it, it used to be my favorite man." He held up the case for Reiner to see.  
"Left for dead?" Reiner shrugged. "Actually yeah, that sounds pretty fun, put it in."

Jean cracked the case open and then gently fingered the disc as he put it in the disc tray of Reiner's xbox. He then grabbed a second controller and joined his friend on the couch.

The two had played for a couple of hours, screaming at each other as they got pummeled to death by zombies time after time. Jean always tried to play it tough, but for the most part, Reiner ended up being the one to save Jean's ass during the missions. There was one time specifically towards the end of their session, that Jean thought it would be funny to try and fight the witch. When the sound of the witch's crying came up, Jean used his character to go running for it, leaving Reiner to shout at him not to do it. The smaller of the two ended up running right up to the damn thing and attacking it only to be killed instantly. Reiner shouted a slur of cuss words as he attempted to not die and heal his fallen comrade, while Jean ended up laughing so hard, he fell off the couch.

After the hysteria from Jean's idiotic decision died down, the two shut off the game system and sat in silence for a second. Jean had a hard time breathing from laughing so hard, so now that he gained a pair of abs, he was catching his breath. He let out a sigh, smiling. "This is nice..."

Reiner turned to him, cocking an eyebrow at him. "I'm glad you find that funny, I don't think I ever want to play with you again."

Jean almost found himself in a fit of laughter again, but he held it back. "No, no, just this. Hanging out, not having any drama to deal with, getting your friend murdered by a crazy bitch, it's great!"

Reiner shook his head, a chuckle escaping his lips. "Jesus Jean, you act like you've got more drama than a preteen."

"Man you don't even know the _shit_ that I've had to deal with recently. I swear, if men had periods like how most women do, that's what Eren would be right now."

"...Cramping up really bad...?" Reiner questioned.

"No! Being really touchy about _everything_. And not fucking telling me what." Jean threw himself back into the couch, crossing his arms and slouching. "I just gave up on him for now. Hopefully he'll just come around and tell me what the hell I'm doing to piss him off so much."

"I'd get pissed off too if I had to look at your face all day." Reiner remarked.

Jean shot him a look. "Yeah? How's your sex life doing? Oh that's right, it's non existent."

"At least I'm not _in_ a relationship and _still _not getting any."

Jean felt his anger rise up. There was a miniature war that had just started between the two of them. "At least it hasn't taken me years to get into my crush's pants."

"Dude, where do you even get that I have a crush on Bertholdt?"

There was a silence in the air before Reiner brought his hand to his face and slapped himself. Jean let out a loud laugh.

"I don't recall stating any name, Reiner."

"Shut it." Reiner's face went red for a moment, mentally hating himself.

"I'm curious though, what was going to be the list of reasons as to how you didn't have a crush on him?" Jean leaned in towards the blond. "Hanging out with him all the time? Texting all the time? Probably blowing each other by now, eh?"

"Fuck Jean, leave it alone, alright?" Reiner let out a sigh, standing up and heading towards the kitchen. "The guy's got his own thing going on, none of that stuff's happening."

"Wait." Jean suddenly grew a very serious tone. "Are him and Marco actually dating?"

"What?" Reiner asked, stopping in his tracks and looking back at his friend.

"I thought about it the other day, but I figured Marco would've told me." Jean shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I wouldn't blame him, Bertholdt's kind of..-"

"Kind of what?"

Jean jolted to Reiner's shift in tone. "A-ah, nothing,.. He's just..got his own thing going on.. Like you said."

"What do you mean?" Reiner asked, standing between the kitchen entrance and the couch Jean was sitting at.

"Just forget about it, they're probably not dating."

Reiner completely neglected what he had gotten up for and moved in towards Jean. "Kirschstein, you know something, I can read it on your damn face."

"It's not my business to say anything about it, back off." Jean snapped back.

Reiner held his gaze. "At least tell me if it's something I should be worried about."

"..." Jean was quiet, biting his tongue. "Why don't you take a good look at him next time you see him, and maybe you can figure it out."

Reiner stopped. The two were silent, Jean turning his gaze to focus on something else. The blond let out a sigh, and then returned to what he had originally gotten up for. "Did you want something to eat? There's some left over pizza..."

Jean looked up at the bigger man and sighed, the little bit of tension in the air completely disappearing now. "Sure.." Reiner walked out of sight, shuffling about in the kitchen. The smaller of the two looked at the game case that they had just finished playing and read over the details of the back. His eyes took in the art work, before landing on the amount of players allowed. "Hey Reiner..."

"What?" The taller man responded, the sound of a microwave humming along with it.

"Why don't we invite Bertholdt and Marco over to play?"

* * *

"GODDAMMIT MARCO PRESS X"

"I _AM PRESSING X"_

"NOT THE PLAYSTATION X- UGH CIRCLE, PRESS CIRCLE!"

"AHH!" Bertholdt yelped, holding his controller closer to him. "T-There's a smoker on me!"

"Oh my-" Reiner let out a huff, mashing the buttons on his controller. "We are literally RIGHT NEXT TO THE FINISH POINT." Reiner's character ran up to Bertholdt's rescuing it from the hold of the smoker's.

"MARCO YOU JUST FUCKING DIED." Jean yelled, throwing his head back for a moment. "ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS JUMP UP!"

"SHUT UP I THOUGHT 'A' WAS 'X'!" Marco turned to face Jean, nudging him in the arm with his elbow. "Can you at least heal me?"

Jean grumbled under his breath. "Are you gonna jump this time?" He healed up Marco's character and Marco ended up getting the control right and jumped up the obstacle and followed Jean.

The sound of the witch's cry echoed through the game. Reiner immediately turned to Jean. "Jean I swear to God! Don't you fucking _dare!"_ Jean chuckled, running through zombies with Marco following close behind him. There was a loud roar that sounded soon after and Reiner and Jean tensed up.

"TANK!" The two yelled in unison. Bertholdt's face was full of confusion, and Marco found himself scared shitless over what the fuck a tank could've been. Not even a second later, a large mutated zombie came thrashing through and knocked Reiner's character flying, killing it instantly.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Jean mumbled to himself as he ran after Reiner's character. "I GOT YOU-" Before he could finish his sentence, his character got pummeled by the tank. "AH GOD DAMMIT!" He shouted, mashing a bunch of buttons in a last minute hope to somehow kill it. Marco was shooting at it now, which immediately grabbed the beast's attention.

"Ahhhh!" Marco whined, throwing a pipe bomb at it. He began shooting at it again, running away from it at the same time.

Bertholdt's character went running towards Reiner and Jean, trying to heal them while Marco distracted it.

"AHH I'M GONNA DIE!" Marco shouted, just barely missing an attack from the tank.

"COME ON BERT, HEAL ME." Reiner yelled as Bertholdt came up closer to him.

"AHHH! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!" Bertholdt yelled as he attempted to not get killed. The sound of the witch's cry grew louder as Marco moved away from the tank. Marco stopped moving to shoot at it and it charged towards him in the same moment, blasting his character back, and into some object. The caption "_You startled the witch!" _Popped up on Marco's screen, along with the ear piercing scream.

"NO!" Marco yelled, his character immediately falling over. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? IT THREW ME INTO THE WITCH, IS THAT EVEN REAL?"

Jean started laughing at him, while the tank and witch moved onto their last target. Bertholdt let out a shaky breath as he began to heal Reiner's character. He groaned in a panic as the two creatures both charged at him, at the same time Reiner was finally healed. Just as Reiner's character got on his feet, him and Bertholdt were both killed instantly. The four of them groaned in unison, Jean tossing his controller to the side.

"WE WERE RIGHT THERE! RIGHT THERE!" Reiner exclaimed.

Bertholdt let out a breath, setting the controller next to him. "Sorry, I haven't played this before."

"Nah it's cool, we probably would've lived if Marco could've fucking pressed X."

"Jean, I swear to god, I will shove this controller so far up your ass, you're going to have to press the X button to fucking shit." Marco remarked.

The four of them all bickered about what they could've done differently, deciding to wait a little before starting up a new round. Reiner rested his head back into the couch, his eyes glancing over at the clock. "It's getting late, which one of us is gonna drop the dorks off?"

Jean shrugged. "I'm cool with it if you want to chill out here. I can just drop them off on my way back home."

Marco and Bertholdt exchanged a look. "Ah, we can just walk, you don't have to take us."

"Yeah, we walked here anyway." Bertholdt added.

"No offense, but with how late it is, you guys probably wouldn't make it back. The two of you are hardly intimidating at all." Jean stated. "I mean, I bet if someone did attack you two, you'd both apologize for inconveniencing them."

"In that case, yeah, drive us home then." Marco responded with, sounding a little offended. Jean chuckled to his tone and turned to Reiner and Bertholdt.

"Well, I've got some time before I gotta go, so whenever you're sick of us, just kick us out."

"I can't just send you out?" Reiner retorted, getting a laugh from everyone but Jean. The four of them continued to talk for a while longer, getting on subjects that were popular in the news, along with talking about moral values, and then to just stupid stuff about movies and people. It didn't seem like that much time had passed, but it was already pretty late before they knew it. Jean made a comment about the time and Reiner had finally suggested that they should probably leave. They all said their goodbye's to Reiner and the three then headed towards the door.

"This was a lot of fun, we should do this again sometime." Jean stated. Marco and Bertholdt both agreed and Reiner smiled.

"I'm almost always free, just text me when you guys are." They nodded and Jean gave a wave.

"Time to go back home and hope I don't have a million missed calls from the beast now." He looked at Reiner. "Oh, and text me later about what we talked about earlier." Reiner took a quick glance at Bertholdt, staring at his figure for a short second and then back to Jean. His heart skipped with the thought of what it might have been. He think he already knew the answer to it, and he didn't want to hear it from Jean either.


	8. Chapter 8

"Thanks again for the ride, Jean" Marco said gratefully. He was leaning down beside Jean's driver side window, Bertholdt waiting by the door to the building. Jean just gave him a nod.

"Hey, when are you free next?" He asked.

Marco blinked. "Uh, I'm not sure, tomorrow, I think." He thought for a second and then shrugged. "Idunno, just text me when you're free and I'll let you know."

"Alright, I might be busy tomorrow, gotta stuff a week's worth of studying in that day for my psychology class."

"That was smart, huh?"

"I forgot about it." Jean waved a hand in the air, glancing back at Bertholdt as he played with the ends of his sleeves. "I'm gonna get going now though, I'll call you up over the weekend or something."

"Alright." Marco smiled and then stepped away from the car, giving a wave as Jean pulled out of the parking lot. He let out a sigh and then turned towards Bertholdt. "Sorry!" He apologized, running up to him.

Bertholdt smiled, turning and opening the door for the both of them. "It's alright," He walked in after Marco and followed him up the stairs towards their dorm room. "What was he talking to you about?"

"Hanging out." A smile forced its way on Marco's lips, his heart fluttering. "It almost feels like old times, sort of."

The two made their way back into their dorm, Marco tossing his jacket on their table and heading towards his room. "You going to bed?" He asked his taller friend.

Bertholdt shrugged, standing awkwardly. "I-I don't know, I was probably just going to.. Draw or something."

Marco stared at his friend, looking at his thin frame. His arms were long and frail, his skin wrapping tightly to the bones that stuck out at each joint. If he didn't wear long sleeves all the time, it would probably be disturbingly obvious how little Bertholdt ate. Marco wasn't even sure how long Bertholdt had been suffering like this, he didn't know about it for the longest time when they first started rooming together.

Bertholdt felt extremely uncomfortable under his friend's gaze, immediately fidgeting with the ends of his sleeves. He tangled his fingers underneath the cloth, twisting it around his joints.

Marco looked towards their kitchen, the thought of asking Bertholdt to eat crossing his mind. He wanted to help his friend out of his bad health, but he knew embarrassing him into eating wouldn't be the way to do it. He let out a sigh and decided he would let it go for now. He'd have to do some research first before diving into trying to force his friend into a healthier lifestyle. His mind felt heavy with guilt for a quick second, telling him that he should at least say something. Marco ignored it, heading towards his room and leaving Bertholdt standing awkwardly by himself.

"..." Bertholdt bit his lip, looking down at the ground. He felt Marco judging him, he knew he was. He could almost hear what he was saying through the way that he had stared at him, but he tried to push it away. "...M-Marco.." He whispered. The freckled one turned, looking back at Bertholdt after hearing his name. He didn't say anything, but he put on a gentle face that indicated for him to go on. "...Can I hang out with you in your room for a little...?"

Marco smiled and nodded. "Yeah, of course."

* * *

"...Unnn.." Marco hung his head backwards, his eyes half lidded and his face bright red. He let out a raspy breath as his stomach clenched together to help him deal with the pleasure that was coursing through his body. He couldn't even trace back how the two had ended up in this position, but Marco's back was pressed against his headboard, and his taller roommate was currently in between his legs, making him feel pleasure like he never had before. "A-Ahh!" Marco choked out a breath, throwing his head forward.

Bertholdt's tongue ran up along Marco's shaft, pulling his mouth further down as he sucked on him. He let out a breath through his nose and pulled his head up, sucking on him harder as he twisted his tongue around his dick. His eyes flickered upward to watch his freckled friend's face twist about. Marco's thighs tightened up as Bertholdt went down on him again, sucking harder when he got to the base. "Ooh-" Marco breathed out. Another shock of pleasure jolted through his body, making him lean forward as his hips twitched upward into Bertholdt's mouth.

Marco threw his head backward again, throwing it against the head board. He let out a loud moan as his hand gripped onto Bertholdt's hair. He twisted it between his fingers, pushing his hips upward to try and get further into Bertholdt's mouth. Bertholdt pulled back a bit, feeling Marco's dick almost choke him. He pulled his head up taking in another breath of air and then continued to bob his head, Marco's pre-cum filling his mouth like saliva.

Marco's eyes were tightly closed, his head spinning as his body convulsed in pleasure. He was close to finishing, and he didn't want to hold back. Even though he knew it was Bertholdt going down on him, his brain kept envisioning Jean sucking him off, and it made his heart twist. His face flushed, imagining Jean down there, twisting his tongue around him, bobbing his head up and down, breathing against him like that. "A-Ahhh!" Marco huffed out. He threw both his hands onto Bertholdt's head, pushing him further down as he began to rock his hips into his mouth. His climax hit, his body pulsing in pleasure as rocked his hips into Bertholdt's mouth. He moaned loudly, except instead of moaning out Bertholdt's name, Jean's had escaped his lips. "Ahh! J-Jean! Ah, Please!" Marco arched his back, leaning into Bertholdt's mouth, his cum spilling over.

Bertholdt swallowed Marco's cum, making an awkward face when it slid down his throat. He sucked for a moment longer before pulling away, a trickle of spit hanging onto his lip. Bertholdt wiped his mouth using his sleeve and then sat up on the bed, straightening his posture.

Marco's face was flushed red as he took in heavy breaths, calming down from his ecstatic moment. He took in one deep breath and then closed his mouth, finally bringing his gaze to the man that had just pleased him. "...I-I'm sorry-" He apologized, holding a hand to his mouth, embarrassed.

Bertholdt shook his head. "No, it's fine, it didn't taste that bad."

Marco smiled, leaning in towards him. He kiss the taller man, his hands reaching towards Bertholdt's pants. They fumbled around for a moment, twisting at the hem of his pants, undoing the button that held them together. After a moment, Bertholdt pulled back from the kiss and slapped Marco's hands away from him. "N-No, I'm good." He blushed.

Marco pulled his hands back, a confused look on his face. "..Why not...?" He looked down and saw Bertholdt pulling the hem of his shirt down. "Bertholdt... Let me see."

Bertholdt pulled away, turning his head to avoid his gaze. Marco reached out towards him. "Let me s-" His hand was slapped away, Bertholdt backing off of the bed, and standing now. Marco eyed the door quickly and made a dash for it when he felt that Bertholdt was about to leave. Like he had predicted, the taller man had made a run for it, but Marco beat him to the door. Bertholdt's hand reached the doorknob, but Marco blocked it by standing against it. "Show me." He demanded.

Bertholdt bit his lip, his hand shaking as he stood still. He shook his head, not wanting to let Marco get the better of him. Marco's eyes were stern as he leaned in towards Bertholdt. There was a silence that hung in the air, Bertholdt backing up slowly, eyes locked with Marco. After a moment, Marco dashed after him, successfully tackling him onto the ground. Bertholdt rolled over, now on his back as Marco straddled him."Stop it!" He shouted at him, his hands grabbing onto Marco's forearms to try and keep him from pulling at his shirt.

"Just let me see!" Marco retorted, fighting with Bertholdt to get to his shirt. Bertholdt felt panic run through him, kicking as he tried to fling Marco off of him, but he was just too much stronger than him. His eyes swelled with tears as the image of Marco seeing his hideous body filled his head. His arms lost their strength as Marco over powered him and slapped them to the side. The man on top of him pulled up Bertholdt's shirt and a gasp escaped his lips. "...Oh my God..." He breathed, a hand going straight to his mouth.

"I get it!" Bertholdt shouted, pulling his hands to his face, completely humiliated. "I'm fucking hideous, I get it!"

Marco shook his head. "Bertholdt, no.." He breathed, he couldn't believe the sight that was in front of him. Bertholdt was _starved._ He was so sickeningly skinny, he looked almost like a holocaust victim. "No, you're not.. No.." Marco breathed.

Bertholdt shoved Marco off of him and pulled his shirt down. "Don't lie to me! Don't feed me that bullshit!"

"Please! Bertholdt, you need help-"

"No!" Bertholdt shouted, "Don't you try to tell me that! I-I'm fine, I'm not as fucking blessed as you are, I'm not pretty, or e-even nice looking, I'm not-"

Marco cut him off, pulling Bertholdt into a hug. "Stop it...Stop this, please..." He huffed out.

"Stop?! You just want me to stop?" Bertholdt shoved Marco back, surprising him. "And what? Be happy? Just flick a switch somewhere in my fucking brain and suddenly feel good about myself?" Marco held up a hand to cut him off but Bertholdt kept going. "What about you, huh? You're no better than I am, you're just as miserable."

"Bertholdt, stop..." he breathed.

"You've been chasing after the same fucking loser for years now, and even after he picks someone else over you, you're still bending over backwards for him-"

"-S-stop it-"

"-And he's the reason you're fucking depressed? I'm supposed to take advice from you?!" Bertholdt grabbed his head in frustration, he had more than crossed the line, but he couldn't bite his tongue any longer. "I might have my own issues, but at least I'm not a-"

"STOP." Marco screamed, covering his ears, his face damp. "Stop it! Just STOP!" He gripped his hair, arching over in a fetal position.

Bertholdt snapped out of his rage fit, his mouth hanging open after the slur of words had escaped him. He stared at Marco, who looked completely shattered now. It wasn't his fault, he didn't mean to- No. No Bertholdt didn't deserve to feel guilty for this, he told Marco to stop. He told him to leave him alone, he deserved it.

Bertholdt tried to say something but his mouth stayed closed. He let out a sigh and then stood up, walking towards the door and leaving.

Marco toppled over, lying on his side now, burying his face into his hands, sobbing. He just wanted to help. He just wanted to make sure Bertholdt was okay, and he wasn't, why did he have to feel like such a pile of shit? And Jean...

Why? Why did he have to be stuck up on someone that was just going to leave him in the dark? Why on earth did Marco have to be so fucking in love with someone who literally couldn't even see him as anything more than his friend. He was so tired of it, so tired of being just a friend. What was the point in even trying if he didn't get anymore out of it?

Marco pulled his head out his hands and stared blankly around his room. He pulled himself up and stared at his night stand. There had to be something in there to make this go away. There had to be, alcohol, medicine, something to make this pain go away. Marco pulled the drawer open and began shuffling through everything. There were so many useless things in here, why wasn't there-

His thoughts completely stopped when he found himself holding a pocket knife. He flicked it open, and stared at the stainless steel blade. His eyes seemed possessed as he turned it over in his hand. He didn't even think when he brought the metal end to his forearm. If he cut deep enough, hit a vein, then he wouldn't have to feel this way anymore would he?

Marco held the knife in place, staring down at his skin, feeling it cut the spot it was in slightly, waiting to be dragged down his arm. Just... Just pull it. Just end it. Marco's hand started shaking before he pulled the knife off of his skin and dropped to his knees.

He couldn't do it.

He didn't want to die, he just wanted the pain to go away. He just wanted a reason to live again. Why couldn't he just be happy? Why wasn't there just some kind of switch he could flick to make everything go away?

With a shaky breath, Marco looked at the small dribble of blood that had gathered on his forearm. He turned his gaze to the knife in his hands, his mind feeling like a black storm had just settled in for the night.

He didn't have to kill himself, he just wanted some kind of relief.. Marco had heard before that some people would hurt themselves for some kind of relief, maybe it worked?

Slowly, Marco brought the knife back up to his arm and made a quick slice across it. He winced at the sharp pain it brought, but felt his body go numb when the blood trickled out of the small gash. He found himself swiping the knife across his skin again...and again...and again.

It did feel good.

It hurt, but it still felt good. It felt like all the blood that pooled up was a different problem that he didn't have to worry about anymore. Marco eventually dropped the knife on the ground and just toppled over to join it. He stared at the damage on his arm until his eyelids felt too heavy. He closed them, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Levi had been in a confused messed over the past day, his thoughts constantly drifting back and forth about what Eren had pulled. He would find himself getting insanely furious about it and considered doing a bunch of idiotic things-such as reporting it to the school board- but he just couldn't settle his thoughts. He completely avoided Eren during his class and even thought about telling him not to show up the following day to his after studies, but that wasn't fair to him at all. The best thing that Levi could come up with was to have a talk with Eren and tell him that the feelings he had towards his teacher were just some kind of fluke because he was going through a stressful time in his life.

This had been his original plan, so he stuck with it. After class had ended and Eren showed up for his study session, Levi pulled him to the side and told him exactly that. His feelings were a fluke.

He didn't really like his teacher, he just wanted to because of his relationship problem. He didn't actually like kissing his teacher, he was just stressed over his grades, that was all.

Even Levi didn't buy that bullshit as he was saying it, so he was only a little surprised with Eren's response.

"I want to fuck you."

Levi honestly had never felt so embarrassed by something in his life. He never had to go through something like this, and Eren being completely blunt about it didn't help. "Eren, you don't want to-"

"Levi, I really want to fuck you." Eren stated again, his eyes holding his teacher's gaze. At this point, Levi was completely speechless. How the fuck was he supposed to get out of this?

Levi's mouth hung open, unsure of what to say. He looked around his classroom, almost like he was trying to get ideas from the things that were scattered around. He literally couldn't think of anything to say and the words that came out of his mouth was more about him being confused than anything. "Are...Are you sure?" Eren smirked, taking a step towards his teacher. Levi immediately leaned back in his chair, wishing he hadn't of asked a question like that. "Eren, stop." He blurted out quickly. "You're my student, you're also in a relationship right now, and you've got more important things to worry about than trying to get into your teacher's pants."

Eren let out a sigh, rolling his eyes. Levi nodded towards the chair that was placed in front of his desk so that the brunette would take a seat. Reluctant to do so, Eren took the seat and looked at the book in front of him. Levi tried to ignore the conversation that had just happened, and made an attempt to go right into the lesson. He tried explaining a problem to Eren, and even when he knew that the brat wasn't listening to him, he still explained it point for point. Levi's finger glided over to Eren's text book, pointing out an example. He was cut off completely when Eren's finger's glided over his hand, tearing his mind completely out of the lesson. Levi's eyes locked onto Eren's, his stare cold and icy, as if to say that he had better remove his hand instantly. Eren smirked. He pulled his hand away, but the two still held each other's gaze. Still locked in a staring contest, Eren purposely flicked his pencil off of Levi's desk with full intentions of wanting to watch him pick it up. Levi's eyebrow twitched as he heard the pencil fall to the floor and roll near his foot. He still didn't pull his gaze away as he reached inside of his desk and pulled out a new one.

"Eren." Levi snapped. "The problem. Do it."

The biggest smile spread across his face, and Levi was sure that whatever idea that had just sprouted into his student's mind, was not about to be a good one. Eren finally broke eye contact with his teacher, and then bent down to retrieve the pencil the he had purposefully dropped. Levi watched him suspiciously, and started to drum his fingers against the table impatiently. His eyes widened when he felt his chair pulled into the desk, and a hand grip on his crouch. "EREN!" He shouted, trying to push back in his chair, but it felt like the wheels on his chair had been locked into place. He kicked about, panicking when he felt Eren's hands pull at his zipper. He made an attempt to kick him off, but the sudden thought of Eren shouting '_abuse!'_ went through his mind and he stopped. Eren's hands had undone his pants and were currently fidgeting with the hem of his boxers. Levi was freaking out now, unsure of what to do. His eyes landed on the door, seeing it half cracked less than a corner of the way open. He was at least thankful for that, but still. He did not in anyway ask for this. "Eren I swear to God, if you go any further, I will snap each and every one of your-Ah!" Levi cut off into a gasp when he felt Eren's warm mouth lock around his cock. He wasn't even hard, but if Eren kept this up, it'd only be a matter of seconds before he was.


	9. Chapter 9

"If you did everything right, then the answer should come out to a whole number. So when you multiply it, you should get...Wait..." Levi's eyes stared puzzled at his work on the chalk board. He had a piece of chalk pressed up against the board, his hand frozen in the process of writing out the answer. He stared over his work, his eyes dropping to what his final answer was. How did he get 12.6? What did he do wrong?

"Uh... I got four?" One of the kids spoke up. Levi looked over his work again and still wasn't able to find the mistake he made, completely ignoring the student's voice. There were some murmurs about other answers that the students got and Levi finally withdrew his hand from the board. He looked over at his notes and then sat down at his desk and scribbled out the problem. After a couple minutes, he turned back to the board and compared the two.

"Hm..." Levi hummed. Some how he had thrown in a random number in the process of solving the problem. He wasn't sure where it came from, but that was definitely why he got such a fucked up answer. He erased all his work on the board and re-wrote the entire problem from the work he had on his paper. "So..." He sighed, circling the answer and turning to face his class. "If you don't throw in random numbers in your work, you should get four. " The short man felt a pair of eyes on him and his whole body felt jittery. He had about fifteen minutes left of his class, and for once he actually wanted to bolt out of there. Turning back to the board, his eyes were caught for a moment with a pair of teal ones and he felt his face heat up.

It was a mix of embarrassment and anger that caused him to go so red, but he quickly composed himself. Taking in a breath, he looked over his notes and then turned back to the class. "Today is the last day for any work from chapter 7. If anyone is still stuck on any problems, now is the time to ask." There was a silence among the students. Levi closed his notes and then plopped down at his desk. "Tomorrow we'll be reviewing chapters 9 and 11, make sure you go over the work, and if you have any questions, be sure to ask them."

There were a couple of students that had come up to him and asked him for help on certain problems, but for the most part, the class just chatted away the rest of the period. Levi tried to be engaged in his notes, or his planner, hell, anything at this point, but he could just _feel_ that pair of eyes on him. He shot his eyes up and sure enough, they locked with Eren's yet again. He felt his blood boil for a second and he quickly turned back to his paperwork. He was pissed off. And humiliated. He wanted to punch Eren right in his smug little face and then tell him to blow him again, and it was those feelings that really _really_ pissed him off.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bell, and at this point, he wished that he had an excuse to leave because he knew exactly who would be waiting for him afterward. Unfortunately, there wasn't a single excuse he could come up with. Just like he suspected, after all the students fled the classroom, Eren was still sitting at his desk, eyes locked onto Levi. The older man tried his best to pretend there wasn't any tension in the air right now, but it was hard to ignore. He didn't want to look up, but he heard Eren move and he secretly wished that he would just walk out of the classroom.

As if it were almost too good to be true, Levi watched as Eren motioned towards the door. He felt like some kind of gift was being sent to him, but it was crushed as soon as the younger man closed the door. He spun around and smiled at Levi. "I'm not done with you" Eren smirked.

Levi let out a sigh. "If you think you're going to pull something like you did last time, you are _so_ wrong."

"Oh? So what were you getting all red about? Were you embarrassed you got a problem wrong, or was I just imagining that?"

Levi let out a sharp breath, not a single retort coming from him. This _asshole._

"But since I wasn't..." Eren stepped away from the door and then headed towards the closet, where Levi kept all of his stupid rulers and random math objects. "Maybe I could help you find some paperwork or something, hm?" There was an obvious hint in his voice as he cooed his words. The brunette slid the closet door open and then stepped inside.

Levi sat at his desk, his thoughts going wild. Right now, he had a student trying to seduce him, waiting for him in his back room, and he had every reason to go up to that door, slam it shut, and push his desk in front of it until that brat would have to go home, but he also had some very few reasons as to why he should go in there.

One, Eren had already given him a blowjob and if Levi really didn't want it as much as he acted like he did, then Eren never would've gotten him to finish.

Two, Despite being his teacher and being older than him, he did find Eren rather attractive, and most of the people he found attractive were either online, or he didn't stand a chance with.

Three, Levi couldn't remember the last time that he had sex.

Even though every fiber of his being was telling him to fucking run, to bolt out of the classroom and to just fucking get out of there, Levi still found himself walking towards the door.

What was he going to do? Shut it? Leave Eren in there? Before Levi got the chance to make the decision himself, an arm reached out and grabbed ahold of him, pulling his body into the small room and slamming the door shut behind him. Levi found himself on the ground, pinned under Eren's body. His mind had just now caught up with his body and his face turned slightly pink. It was so out of the ordinary for him to be getting flustered at anything, but this was a whole new experience for him.

"You're cute when you blush." Eren smirked, leaning towards Levi's neck and lightly pressing his lips against his skin. Levi felt a shock throughout his body with each flicker of Eren's lips. He took a moment to compose himself and then brought his hand up to Eren's head. Taking in a fistful of his hair, Levi gripped it and pulled his head backwards.

"Listen here, you little shit. If we do this, you better not tell a soul, you hear me? I could lose my job for this."

Eren rolled his eyes. "Oh and you think I want to get expelled? Now shut up." Eren didn't let Levi get another word out of his mouth. He pulled his head closer to Levis and locked his lips with the older man. Their lips rolled off of each other's, their tongues twisting with one another's. Levi leaned up into the kiss, and after freeing his legs from Eren's weight, he flipped their positions so that he was on top now. He broke the kiss and started undoing his shirt. He struggled with a few buttons, but he got most of them off in record time, throwing his shirt off to the side and then helping Eren out of his hoody and v-neck combination. It was such a stupid looking combination, but holy fuck was it nice to take off of him.

The two were at each other's lips again in no time, Eren fumbling with the belt buckle that was around Levi's hips. He finally got it undone and gripped at his pants as well, tugging them down so that he could get to the best part. Levi stopped Eren from pulling his pants down any further and took a handful of his hair again. The brunette smirked, and pulled Levi's underwear down as the older man rested on his knees. Eren sat up, leaning his head downward and pulling Levi's dick into his mouth as the older man gripped onto his hair. Levi let his head fall backward as the pleasure began to flow through him. He let out a breath, a quiet moan escaping as well.

Fuck this felt good. Who cared about teaching, anyway?

* * *

"Hey, if I give you my lunch for the week, can you draw my project?"

"Ymir! Shut up and draw your own freakin' project."

"Aw, are you getting frustrated again, Krista?" There was a fit of laughter, and a loud grunt before Bertholdt turned to look at the girls talking to him. His hands were covered in charcoal, a few smudges had even found their way onto his face. He sat with Ymir and Krista in his art class, and while they were both pretty cool people, he had a hard time keeping up with their conversations sometimes. Krista was a short blond, probably one of the shortest people he knew. She was wearing a lacey blouse with a tank top under it, and floral mini-skirt. Honestly, if Ymir didn't sit with them, Bertholdt would've felt like a giant next to her. He looked over at the tall female. She was obviously shorter than Bertholdt, but it honestly wasn't that much shorter. She was tanner and had freckles. Most of the time, she would just be wearing a pair of jeans and t-shirt that loosely fit her, but there were random days she would come in with something nicer. Bertholdt guessed she'd wear those nicer clothes on days she would be seeing Krista the most, but that was just his opinion.

Right now Ymir was just twirling a pencil on a piece of paper, while Krista was drawing and then erasing, and then drawing again, and then erasing a lot more, and then pouting because she couldn't draw. She eventually just got so frustrated that she dropped the picture on the table. Bertholdt took a peek at it and then looked to the blond. "Ah..What're you having trouble with...?"

Krista handed her picture over and pointed out the center. "She's supposed to have wings, but they keep coming out bad."

The picture wasn't really all that bad for someone who wasn't going into art, but there were definitely a lot of flaws with it. Bertholdt ignored the issues that she could probably work on and focused on what she was saying. He picked up a drawing pencil and did a light sketch on the paper. "I think... The wings you're trying to draw don't have enough joints.. If you want them to look like a pair of bird wings, they've got more of an L shape attached to a U rather than just a regular hill curve. Here," He handed the picture back over and pointed out the joints that he mentioned in the picture. "Maybe that'll help?"

Krista stared at the picture, her eyes wide with excitement. "Wow! That made it so much easier, I never would've gotten it!" She quickly went back to work on her picture, and Ymir rolled her eyes.

Bertholdt smiled and tried to work on his again. His vision went blurry for a moment, his head feeling light. He blinked, widening his eyes as if it would line up his vision again. He had been feeling like this off and on since he passed out at Reiner's. He let out a breath and then put his head in his hands.

"Hey big guy, you alright?" Ymir asked, noticing his actions.

"Y-yeah." He responded. His whole body felt tired, and he was sure his brain was going to shut down on him. Usually this class was always easy to get through. He got to draw and do what he liked and he had some people to at least listen to.

"Bertie?" Krista asked, looking up from her picture. God he hated when she called him that, but he'd never correct her. He closed his eyes for a moment and took in a breath.

"Hey, don't take deep breaths if you feel like you're gonna pass out, that'll just make you pass out sooner." Ymir stated, completely serious. She brought a hand to Bertholdt and straightened his back. "You need to lie down or something, put your head down, at least you'll stay in your seat."

Krista nodded in agreement, although she was slightly taken back by how quickly Ymir reacted to him.

Bertholdt shook his head and then sat up. The feeling started to go away, but he still felt like crap. "I'm better.." The two girls stared at him.

"Y-You're still really pale.. Ymir! Go buy him water!"

"Pssht, I don't have any money on me for that." Krista dug into her pocket and threw some money at her, and then shooed her off. Ymir rolled her eyes as she left, but she still obliged.

"You don't have to do that, I'll be fine, I swear. This happens a lot."

"Oh, are you anemic?" The blond asked still very concerned.

"N-no, not that I know of..."

"Maybe you're mal-nourished? I know a lot of guys who have metabolisms that are too fast. That can be actually really unhealthy you know. Do you eat a lot of junk food?"

"I'm fine, don't worry about it." He snapped, trying to dodge the question. Krista noticed the slight edge to his words and backed off.

"...W-well, she'll be back with some water in a minute..."

A silence feel between the two, the taller man feeling slightly guilty about the whole situation. These two were always nice to him, so he knew they didn't deserve that. He wasn't really sure how to take it back though. It's not like he could just be like, 'Oh yeah, I pass out a lot because I hate eating, and literally haven't eaten in almost a week now.' He bit his lip and then pointed at her picture. "Um.. That picture's good.." He complimented.

Krista was flustered for a moment. "What? This? It's nothing compared to yours."

"Well...it's still pretty good. I can tell you're trying really hard on it, and it's turning out nice." He wasn't sure how to react when people always put his skills above theirs.

Krista smiled. "Thanks, although it never would've gotten anywhere if you didn't help me with the wings, so thanks for that." She admired her artwork for a moment and then set it down. "How long have you been drawing for, anyway?"

Bertholdt looked at her and shrugged. He really couldn't remember when he started drawing. He felt like he always had been. "I don't know.. I just kind of always did." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I was a big dork for fantasy stuff when I was little, so I drew a lot since I couldn't really get much fantasy things."

"Aw, that's adorable." Krista giggled. "I wish I had a hobby like this when I was little." Bertholdt looked at Ymir's empty seat. It seemed pretty obvious to him that Ymir was really into Krista, but he didn't have a clue about how the blond felt.

"Um.. I don't know if this might be out of line but...Are you and Ymir..are you two..?" He trailed off hoping that she'd get the idea.

Krista's face flushed red, and she looked off to the side. "Dating? Yeah...I mean sort of. I mean.." She flustered for a moment before trying to gather her thoughts. "We both said we liked each other.. But we haven't really done much, like I know she still likes me, and I like her, but now there's this awkward wall, and.. I don't know."

"Oh." Bertholdt commented. He wondered to himself why any kind of relationship had to be so difficult. "You two are both too nervous to be the initiator?" He realized the way he said it sounded way more direct than he meant it to be.

"Initiator...?" Krista blinked. "O-oh, I just always thought that...if Ymir wanted something, she'd just do it..." She thought for a moment before her face lit up. "You know what! You're right Bertie! Today, when we leave, I'm going to hold her hand!" Krista was already in a pretty good mood today, but it seemed to shift even more with this new goal in mind. Bertholdt wished he had the same energy as this girl had. She went back to her drawing.

Bertholdt put a hand to his forehead, the lightheadedness still there. He hoped he'd be fine long enough to make it home, but he really wasn't sure.

"Here." Ymir came back, putting a bottle of water on the table near Bertholdt and handing her change back to Krista. She had also put down a bottle of orange juice next to him too. "I don't know why you're feeling faint, but I just thought the orange juice might be a good idea." Krista looked up and smiled.

"Ah, I didn't think about that, good one!" She commented. Ymir raised an eyebrow to her perky mood and turned back to Bertholdt.

"Anyway, you owe her like, three bucks alright? You're excused for now, but it's only cause you look like a ghost, pal."

Bertholdt looked at the bottle of orange juice and flipped over to the nutrient facts label. His eyes scanned over it and his face lifted up in disgust for a moment. He immediately put the bottle down and went for the water instead. After cracking it open and taking a couple of sips to satisfy the two, he set it down. He didn't bother to look at their expressions and instead figured he'd pay Krista back now before he forgot. Bertholdt handed her the three dollars and nodded. "Thanks, but you really didn't have to do that."

Krista just nodded and then turned to Ymir. Ymir was staring at Bertholdt suspiciously, before eyeing the juice. "It's none of my business, but you should really drink that juice first. You could have low blood sugar or something."

"Hn..." The male breathed, turning towards the juice. He cracked the lid open to it and took in a small sip. Whatever would shut them up.

Again, the two exchanged looks and then Ymir shrugged. "Yo, I know you might be saying you're alright but you should let us take you home. Just in case, you know?"

Bertholdt shook his head. "No, no, it's alright. I've got a ride home already, don't worry about it."

Krista bite her lip. "Are you just saying that so we'll leave you alone? Or do you really have a ride?"

"I do, I get a ride home from a friend. I swear." Bertholdt reassured. He was lying. He didn't have a ride home, but if he needed to, he could always try and get one from Reiner. Which, right now didn't seem like a bad idea.

The two finally let him off the hook and they all went back to their drawings. There was maybe about another half an hour left of class, and Bertholdt spent that time making sure he took some drinks of the water they got for him, just to keep them from asking anything else. He even managed to drink some of the orange juice, and as much as he didn't want to admit it, it did make him feel slightly better.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Longer chapter here, how exciting c: Anyway, this chapter's supposed to mainly show how Jean and Marco's relationship is so hopefully I got that across in here. Also thanks for all the favorites on this, it means a lot c:

* * *

Regret was one of the worst feelings to experience. That horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach, twisting and tormenting the mind, making that you experience nothing but embarrassment and humiliation for your actions. All of those things couldn't even describe how Marco Bodt felt in this moment.

His eyes were heavy and swollen from all of the crying he went through the night before. His forearm burned with pain, stinging every time he twisted it too fast. Marco woke up to the mess all over his arm, dried blood puddled and dripped all down it and staining the sheets that he passed out on.

It was stupid. It was the stupidest thing he had ever done. Now what on earth was he gonna do? Wear long sleeves all the time? Only wear hoodies? How long would it be before the marks went away? Hell, would they even go away?

Marco pulled his body off of his bed and rubbed at his eyes. He felt horrible. If anything, he felt even worse than he did last night and it was only morning. Marco peeked over at his clock and groaned when he realized he only had a good twenty minutes to get ready and head to class. He took a step towards the entrance to his door and instantly made the decision to skip class today. He couldn't even begin to think about trying to pay attention to anything right now. His emotions were shot, his arm was on fire, and there was no way he would be caught out right now without showering.

The freckled man picked out a towel from his dresser and headed towards the bathroom, glancing into Bertholdt's room as he passed. The lights were out and Marco had woken up late anyway, so he figured he must've already left for school. He let out a sigh and went to fiddle with the faucets in the bath tub.

As he turned the knob, he barely caught the sound of his phone going off. Groaning, Marco spun around and headed back towards his room to grab his phone. Upon closer inspection, his heart twisted when the name "Jean" popped up. He cleared his throat and then answered the phone. "H-Hello..?"

"Hey Dipshit."

Marco chuckled to Jean's voice. "What do you want, douche?" He responded with.

"Are you free today? Like after class or whatever. I want to go out."

Marco's stomach twisted, his brain jumping to those words. Go outside. Go hang out. He knew that, but hearing Jean say that just dragged him down. "Ah.. I'm skipping class today, woke up late.. Speaking of, why're you calling me so damn early?"

"Fuck you, I'll call you when I want." Jean retorted. "I'm always up this early, I have all morning classes, dude."

"Yeah, right I knew that." Marco mumbled, sarcasm laced in his tone.

"Whatever, are you free or not? Armin's having Annie over and I don't think I can sit here with that shit. It's awkward, you know?"

Marco rolled his eyes. Of course he fucking knew. Did Jean not realize how many times he had unintentionally made him a third wheel? How awkward it was to be so excited to hang out, only to walk in on him and Eren lip locked and nearly fucking each other through their clothes? Yeah, probably not. "Eh, You mind coming over here? I don't really feel like going out honestly. I'm...tired." Marco sighed.

Jean blew his tongue. "Fiiine, I guess we can hang out in your crummy place."

"Good, now I was halfway in the shower when you called so don't go rushing over here."

"Aw damn, you foiled my plot to see you in the nude. I've come so close to seeing that freckled ass, and you ruined it." Jean joked.

Marco's face heated up, slapping a hand to his cheek. He rolled his eyes. "Thanks, asshole."

"You know it." Jean let out a chuckle. "I'll text you when I leave."

"Alright, sounds good."

"Bye, asshat."

"Dick."

The phone call ended, and Marco tossed his phone onto his bed, going back to the shower. He really wasn't in the mood to be around anyone, but for Jean, he could make an exception.

After getting out of the shower and heading towards his room, Marco dug through his clothes to find a long sleeved shirt. The water stung so badly when he tried to wash off his cuts, and using soap just made it hurt worse. He thought about trying to put band aids over them, but he didn't have enough to cover it all, and it would look so ridiculous. Not to mention that it would draw attention and that was the last thing he needed right now. Marco ended up pulling out a thin black long sleeved shirt that had a v-neck design at the top, with buttons trailed along the cut. He threw it on, adding to his regular jeans and turned to grab his phone.

Sure enough there was a text from Jean that he was already on his way that Marco missed while showering. Sometimes he could be the most impatient person.

Marco figured he would straighten up his room while waiting for his friend to come over. He picked up some of the clothes that were lying scattered on the floor and threw them in a corner, then he grabbed most of his school stuff and set them on his desk that was tucked off to the side. Marco walked towards his bed side to pick up the miscellaneous items on the ground and froze. The knife he used to cut himself was just lying there. He picked it up, slowly, looking at the sharp curve. There was still some of his blood on it. It made his stomach turn.

_BZZZZT!_

Marco jumped to the sound of the buzzer going off. He took one last look at the knife and then chucked it into his nightstand, trying to put the thoughts it brought to the back of his mind. He pulled the door open and his heart clenched tightly when Jean was standing there.

"What's up?" Jean greeted, stepping past Marco and tossing his keys onto the dinning room table. Marco shrugged his shoulders, watching the other man undo his jacket and hang it off of the chair. Jean was wearing just a regular t-shirt that looked to be torn out around the neck area. There was a faded design on his shirt that looked like a dragon curling in on itself. He had a pair tight jeans on, a belt around his waist to compliment the outfit. Marco's face darkened, taking in all of his friend's curves. He immediately grabbed at his sleeve, his heart pacing as panic ran through him. What was he gonna do if Jean saw his arm? He suddenly felt like throwing on a couple layers and hiding himself under his blankets. "This is when you should be saying 'Oh nothing Jean, I'm just so glad you're here'. " Marco's thoughts were pulled away from the idea he had and back onto Jean.

"I would still be sleeping if you didn't wake me up, why would I be glad you're here?" Marco chuckled.

"Hey, you said you were already up, that's on you." Jean peeked around the small apartment and cocked his head towards Bertholdt's room. "Big ol' berts not here?" He questioned.

"No, he's in class." Marco guessed.

"Awesome." Jean smirked and Marco lost his breath with the way his lips curved. This was torture.

"Why's that awesome?" He questioned, dragging his eyes away from Jean's features.

"Well, " Jean started. "I figured if he was here, I wouldn't be able to get a straight answer out of you." He pulled a chair out from the table and sat down, leaning back in it. "Are you two a thing?"

Marco followed Jean's movements and then found himself shaking his head, having to re-process what his friend asked. "Wait." Marco stated, thinking. "Bertholdt and me?"

Jean simply nodded and Marco felt his stomach drop. Why would he...? I mean.. I guess it was true that the two had done stuff, but it wasn't like they ever told anyone..Or at least Marco didn't. "No! Why- No, what on earth gave you that idea?"

"Well, you two are like, best friends, so I thought maybe there was something more." Jean shrugged. "I know you got a crush on someone, that was my best guess."

Marco rolled his eyes. "Will you just give up on that?" He sighed.

Jean shot up from his seat. "As if! You wouldn't do that with me, so it's not fair. I'm gonna get you to tell me who it is, just watch."

"Yeah, whatever." Marco did what he could to change the subject. "You wanna watch a movie or something?"

Jean caught on to his plan and held his stare for a long moment. After realizing that he wasn't going to get anything out of his freckled friend, he rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah sure why not."

The two headed towards Marco's room, where they both threw themselves onto the bed. Marco used the remote to turn on his tv and leaned forward off the bed to grab his ps3 controller, grabbing a second one for Jean. The system booted up and he turned to Jean, passing the controller to him. "You want to play something, or watch something?"

"Eh.. Neither honestly. I'm in the mood to like, go out and do stuff." Jean straightened his arms out and groaned. "But we got debby downer over here that doesn't want to go out. " Marco just shrugged his shoulders, unsure of what to say. He felt bad but all he wanted to do was just lie in bed. What was so bad about that? Jean let out a sigh. "But we can watch something I guess."

Marco smiled, thankful that Jean didn't pressure it anymore. The two spent some time trying to figure out what to watch, arguing over what was better, before they finally settled on watching a classic. Marco put the movie on and then settled back into the bed, getting comfortable.

Throughout the movie, the two shifted into different positions, eventually ending up tossing their limbs on each other. Jean currently had his legs propped over Marco's thighs, while Marco was using one of Jean's arms as a head rest. To be honest, Marco had missed out on a lot of the movie, because every time Jean shifted his body, Marco's stomach twisted into knots, and his face flushed red when he even brushed against his skin. Now that Jean was just flat out lying on top of him, Marco couldn't concentrate on anything but trying to calm his nerves down. He felt his heart thudding loudly against his ribcage, his nerves all over the place and Jean wasn't even doing anything. Literally.

Marco tilted his head up, scared that by doing so, it would cause Jean to move his arm from underneath his head, but he never did. Jean was on his phone, reading something. His face dropped slightly before he locked the screen and set it aside. He let out a soft sigh and turned his head away from the tv screen. Marco bit his lip, hesitant to ask and ruin the moment, but he pushed his feelings aside. "Everything okay?"

"Eh.." Jean shrugged. He looked over to Marco and forced a smile. "Stupid stuff."

"Like?" Marco questioned.

"Well like, the fucking fact that Eren doesn't have time for me anymore." Jean spat. "He just blew me off again."

Marco looked away, not really sure what to say to him. "What'd he blow you off for?"

"Supposedly to study. He keeps saying that he has to stay after class to catch up, but it was supposed to be like, twice a week, or something like that? I don't fucking know. Now it's like, every fucking day." Jean shrugged. "I don't even know why I'm mad, he's trying to bring his grade up but, I just.." Jean pulled his arm out from under Marco's head and shot up. "Like, what the fuck though? Seriously? I get that you gotta put school ahead of relationships, but do you really need five days out of the week to study for _one_ class?"

"Maybe he's fucking the teacher." Marco stated. Jean shot him a look and Marco went into a laughing fit.

"That's not funny."

"Aw, Jean I didn't mean it. Who's his teacher anyway? I bet it's just someone really shitty and Eren's just not getting it or something."

"That short angry looking guy. Lavi, or levy, or-"

"Levi?"

"Yeah, that guy." Jean sighed.

"Huh..." Marco bit his lips, confused. "I actually have him this semester.."

Jean caught Marco's look and scrunched his eyebrows together. "What? What's with that look? What?"

"N-nothing just.." Marco blinked, taken back by Jean's sudden burst. "He's probably the best Math teacher.. Like, He doesn't give out homework, and all the assignments are like, follow-alongs with his work, so it's just..weird that Eren's having that hard of a time." Marco shrugged his shoulders and then pulled his arms up behind his head,.His sleeves pulled up from the way his shoulders bent, the cloth bunched up around his elbow area. He turned to look at Jean again, his eyes catching onto the hazel pair. They weren't looking at Marco's face, but they were looking at him, his eyes were definitely staring right at Marco's arm.

Panic ran through his body and Marco immediately sat up, tugging his shirt sleeve down in the process. He didn't know if anything was even showing, but.. Jean was staring right at it. Even if his cuts didn't show, it was like he already knew. Jean was quiet for a long moment. Marco's face was red as he turned his body to face Jean. He tried to go on like nothing happened. He hoped that nothing happened at least. "M-Maybe Eren's just.. I don't know catching up on all of his assignments. You did have to turn those i-"

Marco was cut off by Jean's hand gripping onto his arm. Jean pulled his arm towards him and was reaching for Marco's sleeve. Marco tried to yank his arm backward, but Jean wasn't letting go. "J-Jean, stop it. Let go!" He said, struggling, but it wasn't any use. Jean pulled Marco forward again and used his other arm to yank his sleeve up, revealing all the cuts that were decorating his friends arm. He instantly let go when he saw them, and Marco immediately brought his hand to his chest, his face red and his eyes watering just slightly. It suddenly felt hard to breathe for him. He couldn't bring himself to look at Jean, he didn't want to see how he was judging him. Before he got the chance to, Jean had brought his arms around Marco, pulling him into a hug.

"Marco..." Jean breathed along his neck. His breath sent chills down Marco's spine. Jean's embrace was comforting and warm, his touch gentle and definitely caring. It took every bit of strength to keep himself from sobbing into his shoulder right now. Jean pulled back from his hug and locked eyes with his freckled friend. "Why...?"

Marco bit his lip, feeling his breath skip when he inhaled. "I... I thought it would help...It was stupid, I shouldn't of..." He trailed off, looking to the side.

"Hey," Jean called, using his hand to lightly pull Marco's face back to level with his. "It's alright, Just... Fuck Marco, talk to someone before you do that shit." Jean let out a breath, looking down at his arm again. There was a silence that hung in the air between them and it was obvious that Jean wasn't sure what to say. He looked like he had a lot of things that he wanted to say to him, but none of it was coming out. Jean had no idea that Marco felt bad at all, not even in the slightest. There was no way in his mind that Marco would ever do something like this, but.. He did. And Jean didn't know.. Marco never told him. Marco never said anything. "..Talk to me..." He said in a hushed tone. Marco's heart skipped a beat. He wished he could've, but it was hard to talk to the person that made him do it in the first place. Fuck, what would Bertholdt think of him right now if he saw how pathetic he was? Jean shifted suddenly, stepping off the bed and looking around the room. "What'd you use?"

"..." Marco's eyes drifted away from Jean. "..A knife.."

"Where is it?" Jean watched Marco as he pointed towards his night stand. He immediately pulled the drawer open and began digging through his things. He shifted some items around before pulling out a pocket knife, holding it up and flicking it open, inspecting it. His hands clamped it shut and then he shoved the knife into his pocket, sitting back on the bed with Marco. "Do you want to talk..?"

"I don't think I could even if I wanted to." Marco mumbled. He played with the ends of his sleeve, regret taking over every ounce of his being right now. In a way, he wanted Jean to just say fuck it pretend it never happened, but he also wanted him to hug him, console him, lie with him and be there for him and just spend the rest of the day in bed, taking care of him. There wasn't anyway that Jean could ever understand his pain if he didn't know what brought him pain. He knew that if he ever did want to take Jean up on his offer, he would have to tell him how he felt, and it terrified him. He couldn't do that to him, especially not right now while he was with Eren.

His thoughts were cut off when Jean's hands were placed on top of his. His eyes locked with his crush's and Marco swore he could've died with how amazing Jean appeared to him in this moment. There was a lump in his throat and his hands started to sweat. "Marco.. You're my best fucking friend, you know that right? I tell you _everything_, stupid or not and it's because I trust you. Because you're just fucking great, and so selfless. You don't give two shits about what I think is right or wrong, you give everything to me straight and you never sugar coat anything, and I might get pissed over it because I'm wrong, but I appreciate it. I appreciate everything you do for me." Jean pulled out Marco's arm again, pulling the sleeve back and brushing his thumb along the cuts that were made. Marco winced to the touch, but he didn't try to pull back this time. "This isn't okay. This isn't anywhere _near_ okay, and I wouldn't have even had a clue if I didn't see it... Have you done it before?" Marco shook his head. Jean just kept his eyes on him "..._Let_ me help you.. Please, just talk to me.."

Marco's mind went crazy for a second. He literally wanted to spill everything to him. He wanted to confess how in love with Jean he was and tell him how much it was hurting him to be so close, but so fucking far away from him. How painful it was to be ditched and abandoned and just forgotten about whenever Eren was brought up. God, how much it fucking _hurt_ when Eren was even talked about, he wanted to tell him literally everything because Jean was his best friend. He would've told Jean all of these things all the time if they just.. weren't about_ Jean. _His mind was running so fast that he couldn't even stop himself from talking.

"You ditch me a lot." Jean blinked, staring at Marco. He didn't say anything, he seemed surprised that anything about him would be brought up. Marco continued. "You blow me off a lot of the time to hang out with Eren, or when we're hanging out, you'll cut it short to see him and.. Like I get that you two are dating but...I miss seeing you, I guess."

"..." Jean withdrew his hands from Marco, not sure what to say.

"...Bertholdt and I got into an argument last night. It was about his eating habits. I didn't really know what to do, but he said some stuff and I just... I broke, I couldn't..." Marco let out a deep breath. "I'm exhausted, Jean. I don't know how much longer I can be the nice guy.. I just want to quit, and give up on everyone, because it seems no matter how much or how long I care, it's not going to change anything.." His throat swelled up as he recalled the words that Bertholdt threw at him. He just wanted to help him. He wanted him to be healthy, and be happy for himself, but Marco couldn't do it. He couldn't just flick that switch and make Bertholdt love himself. He didn't even know how he could attempt to help him when he couldn't even figure it out himself.

"Is this..." Jean started. He cut off and seemed to rethink his words before saying anything else. "Bertholdt's anorexic...And I blow you off..." He wasn't sure what else to say to him. He understood how Bertholdt's problem could wear him out, but he had no idea that he was affecting Marco at all. "Marco..." Jean's voice dropped to almost a whisper. "Do you think I should be with Eren...?"

Marco was quiet. His mind was screaming 'No, fuck that guy', but he couldn't bring himself to say it. "...Does he make you happy?"

Jean shrugged. "I think so..Yeah."

"Then..Yeah, you should be..." Marco trailed off, his voice almost cracking. He inhaled slowly, trying to keep himself from crying. Jean turned to look at Marco.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I didn't think.. I don't know I guess I didn't realize I was doing that so much. I'll stop blowing you off alright? Unless there's an emergency or something you know."

Marco chuckled. "It really doesn't matter Jean, do what makes you happy. You just wanted me to talk..so-"

"No, it does matter, I can't sit here and let you tell me I'm part of the reason why this happened., and not do anything about it." Jean said indicating Marco's self injury. "As far as Bertholdt goes.. He needs help Marco. And not the kind of help that you can offer him, he needs to go to therapy or something, He's gonna end up killing himself.. Idunno, I thought you guys were closer than you are I guess. I think we're all just hoping he'll just suddenly eat again..."

"Jean..." Marco let his head drop, his forehead landing against Jean's shoulder. "Thank you..." He wanted to tell him it was useless, there wasn't any point to talk to him, but it still in a way felt good. Jean wanted to listen and Marco could go to him if he really wanted to, and it lifted a little bit of the weight off of his shoulders. He felt better, but he still didn't feel good at all. Regardless, it was something.

Jean pulled Marco into a hug and smiled. "No problem, asshat."

"...Dick." Marco chuckled.

* * *

"Break up with him."

"What? Are you serious? We're fucking in the back and your problem is that-"

"Eren." Levi's voice was completely serious. "I don't know what kind of relationship you think this is, but I'm not gonna have a love struck teen come barging in here threatening me because you're playing games with him."

Eren rolled his eyes, looking around the small back area they were in for his pants. Levi was already dressed and tidying himself up, waiting for the red tint to his skin to subside before even thinking about stepping into his classroom. "Fine, whatever, I'll break up with him. It's not like he cares that much anyway."

Levi cocked an eyebrow. "Are you kidding me? From what you've been telling me, the only reason you haven't is because you know you're gonna break his heart. Which- actually. Can you explain how cheating was going to make that any easier?"

"Shut up, will you?" Eren scoffed, slipping into his jeans and buttoning them up. He found his shirt and tossed it around in his hand for a minute before finding the right way to wear it and slipping it on.

Levi shook his hands in the air like he was trying to dry them off. "Ugh, my hands feel fucking gross, I need.." He trailed off, looking himself over and making sure he was safe to exit the storage area. He was looking around for something to wipe his hands with when a sound from outside the door was heard. Levi froze and Eren looked over his shoulder to his teacher.

"Levi...?"

It was fucking Erwin. Of course.

Levi shooed Eren away into a corner, throwing his hoody at him as well, while he headed towards the door. He cracked it open slightly and slid his body out of the opening, shutting the door behind him. "What the hell do you want?"

"Oh, I thought you went home for a moment." Erwin smiled.

Levi immediately went for the sink that was in the corner of the room. He pumped a lot more pumps of soap than needed, and began washing his hands. "Nope, going over the last minute assignment hand ins."

Erwin chuckled. His personality seemed a bit off from his normal charismatic mood. He had a folder in hand that Levi noticed. Levi grabbed paper towel to dry his hands off and pointed at the brown folder. "What's that? You taking home some last minute work?"

"Uh..." Erwin was quiet for a moment. He flipped it over in his hands before looking off to the side. "Yeah, something like that..." Levi raised an eyebrow. Erwin cleared his throat before speaking again. "So.. You know that teacher? The one I brought up before?"

Levi rolled his eyes. "Erwin, please, not this subject again."

"Ah, no, they're trying to find a teacher to replace him. And it's math too, kinda funny."

"Oh god. I'd rather be fired than have to work down at that school." Levi stated, tossing the wet paper towel into the trash bin.

Erwin went quiet. He looked around the classroom and then back to Levi. "...I should let you get back to your paperwork."

The blond gave a forced smile and turned on his heel and left, the brown envelope still under his arm. Levi was in all honesty happy that the visit was short, but he had to say that was probably the most out of character Erwin he had ever seen. There was definitely something that he didn't tell him. Levi pondered on it for a moment before brushing it off and turning to release Eren from his uncomfortable position. He'd figure out sooner or later what that was about.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Let me just point out that I am in no way good at writing smut. I tried, so I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Jean's hazel eyes were focused on the stainless steel knife he kept turning over in his hand. He was at Eren's house right now, sitting on his couch with him, his arm along the ledge of the couch. Eren had his head propped against his arm. He flipped the knife over in his hand, his eyes catching onto the little brownish color that was slowly flaking off the edge of the blade.

"...So yeah, until that's out of the way, I'm not gonna be able to hang out as much..." Eren brought his gaze up to Jean and saw how little attention he was paying to him. "Hey!" He called, slapping Jean's thigh to grab his attention. Jean flinched and turned to him, looking surprised. "Were you even listening?" He asked.

"Ah," Jean breathed. "Yeah, tests and school and stuff, I got it."

"Well, it'd be nice if you'd respond."

"Whatever," Jean rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the knife in his hand. Eren looked irritated, huffing as he threw himself back into the couch. His teal eyes landed on the knife Jean was so focused on.

"Why do you keep playing with that?"

"..." Jean was quiet for a moment. He pulled his arm out from under Eren's head and then folded the blade back. "..Marco...um.. Look, if I tell you, don't go telling everybody, alright?" Eren nodded. "He cut himself, with this knife so..." He trailed off.

Eren stared for a moment before a smile broke out on his lips. He started laughing, Jean turning to him in shock. "How the _fuck_ is that funny?" Jean questioned.

Eren's laughter cut off, but there was still a smile on his lips. "Oh come on," He started. "What the hell does Marco have to deal with? What could be so hard in his life that he would feel the need to do that?"

"Why does he have to have a reason to?" Jean stated.

Eren rolled his eyes and sighed. "Whatever, forget it, sorry I laughed. Geesh."

Jean stared at him in disbelief. He couldn't believe that he was actually being this much of an asshole right now. How in the hell could anyone think something like that was funny? Eren took a glance at Jean and saw that he definitely wasn't satisfied with the answer he gave.

Eren took in a breath and turned to him, completely serious this time. "Jean..Sorry. I shouldn't have laughed, that kind of stuff... Idunno it just makes me uncomfortable."

The taller of the two tried to decipher if he was actually sincere about the apology and after a moment decided he was. Jean rubbed his eyes. "That was kind of fucked up, Eren. Especially from you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Eren chuckled, leaning in closer towards him.

Jean pulled his hand away from his face and smirked at him. "Well, remember your younger days? You know back when we first started dating? You used to cry all the time over the stupidest shit."

Eren's face turned a bright red. "Ahh! That's because I was angry! I cry sometimes when I get really angry."

"Yeah, yeah," Jean fanned him off and then got back to his point. "Look, Marco's a nice guy, I mean he's literally _the _nice guy. All he wants to do is help, and I think he's just...feeling like there's no one left to help and it makes him feel empty."

"That sounds like an addiction." Eren commented.

"Well, idunno. It's like how you used to cry. You couldn't help it, I mean, if you could, I know you wouldn't have cried in front of me because you dropped my birthday gift and broke it before I could open it."

"Ohh my god, don't bring that up." Eren buried his face into his hands, completely embarrassed. "I get it, Stop making me feel bad now. "

Jean let out a sigh and then took the knife that was still in his hands and set it on the coffee table in front of them. "I don't know what to do about it.. Kinda just want to forget about it for right now, think about it later." He drew in a breath, glancing out of the corner of his eyes at Eren. He looked nice today, with his long sleeved shirt and simple jeans. His hair was brushed and pushed out of his face, his skin having a nice glow to it. Jean smiled to himself, leaning closer to him and pecking his cheek.

Eren cocked an eyebrow at him and smiled. "What's that all about, hn?" He asked, slipping his hand over Jean's thigh. Jean smirked to the touch, sliding his hand over Eren's and pulling it further down his inner thigh.

"I guess I just missed you." Jean commented, his face hinting at something more.

Eren shifted his position, leaning in closer towards Jean and running his hand over his crotch, rubbing at it gently. He placed his lips against Jean's neck, kissing at it and working his hand on him. Jean's face started to flush, his body's nerves responding positively to the touch. He took in a hitched breath, pushing his groin into Eren's hand. Eren responded teasingly, removing the pressure of his hand away from his crotch while kissing down his neck. He used his chin to push Jean's collar out of the way and began suckling the nape of his neck. Jean's body jittered to his touch, his nerves shooting through his most sensitive areas. He leaned his head back, allowing more access to his neck.

Eren ran his finger up Jean's crotch, feeling along his dick as he slid his fingers under Jean's waist band, going directly for his half-hard penis. Jean slouched his waist down in his seat, trying to angle it better so that his pants didn't restrict any movement. The brunette worked at his neck, sucking and nipping at it in numerous spots, while rocking his hand along his shaft. It only took a few more strokes for Jean to become fully erect now, his penis twitching every time Eren lifted his hand even slightly and relieved any pressure. Eren pulled away from his neck, leaning towards his face and kissing Jean directly on the lips. He slid his fingers over the head of his cock, thumbing his head and spreading his pre-cum over the tip of his penis. Jean winced for a moment, pulling away from the kiss and huffing out a soft moan. He bit his lip and rolled his head before groaning. "Hang on.." He huffed out, grabbing Eren's forearm and pulling it out from his pants.

"Too tight...?" Eren questioned, assuming he would need to drop his pants.

Jean shook his head, bringing Eren's hand close to his mouth, holding it out. He spat into his palm. "Too dry."

"Aw, ew Jean, that's gross.." Eren's lip turned up in disgust while Jean's face was deadpanned. Eren lathered the spit around in his hand, catching his face. "What?"

"You... You've had my dick in your mouth before. We've made out more times than either of us can count, hell you usually _swallow_ when I do get a blow job, and- We were literally just kissing two seconds ago." He pulled Eren's hand up to his mouth again and spat in it for a second time. "That is what grosses you out?"

Eren rolled his eyes. "At least let me use my own spit." He slid his hand back down Jean's pants, instantly slicking him up. Jean's eyes rolled back and his neck fell against the back of the couch. He breathed out a moan, Eren stroking him, squeezing gently as he slid up his cock. Jean's cheeks were flushed, his skin on fire. Each stroke sent gentle pleasure through him, his heart pounding in his rib cage. He looked over at Eren's face, who had been watching him. He stared into his deep teal colored eyes, the way the light hit them right now brought out the green in them, the mixed color of blue and green twisting through them. He dragged his eyes away from his and tore apart every aspect of Eren's body with his own. He followed every curve of his skin and each crease of his clothes. He watched as the muscle in Eren's arm tensed each time he stroked him.

Jean wanted Eren so badly right now. He huffed out a husky breath barely keeping himself from moaning. He decided now he was going to have him and he wasn't waiting any longer. He took his arm and pushed against Eren's shoulder's, shoving him on his back on the couch. Eren's eyes widened in surprise, Jean latching his hands around his thighs and spreading them enough so he could fit his body in the gap. He pressed his crotch against Eren's, hovering over him. "I'm toppin' this time."

"-Wait," Eren started, looking around frantically. "We should at least go to our room, I don't know when Connie's gonna be home."

Jean smirked, grinding against Eren again. "Well that just makes things more exciting, doesn't it?" He leaned down to kiss Eren only for the brunette to turn his head to the side.

"But this is his couch man."

"Good. Fuck Connie."

Eren didn't have any other argument left in him, making a mental note to check out the window for any shadows in case he did end up coming home soon. Jean slid his hand up Eren's shirt, peeling the clothing off of him and latching his lips onto Eren's after the shirt was tossed to the side. Eren kissed back, their mouths clashing against each other's, Jean's hips rolling into his, the pressure from his erection rubbed against Eren's half erect one, encouraging it. He knew Jean was always hot about doing it in places they could get caught in, but Eren really didn't want to be sprawled out on a couch and having Connie of all people be the one to walk in and see it.

"Jean..." He whined, breaking away from the kisses for a moment. Jean's eyes were full of lust and he looked damn annoyed that Eren was even interrupting him right now. "There's no lube out here, let's just go to the room."

"..." The man on top of him tsk'd, pushing himself off of him. He looked over their surroundings, trying to find some kind of substitute for the lube. After being disappointed, Jean sat up, letting Eren free.

Eren stood from his spot and headed towards the hallway, encouraging Jean to follow him. It didn't take long for the taller man to go after him, following him into his bedroom. After they made it into the room, Jean gripped onto Eren's arm, spinning him around and locking their lips together. Their lips flickered off one another's, tongues pushing softly into each other.

Eren worked his hands around the edge of Jean's shirt, pulling the cloth off of him, and breaking their contact. The shirt was tossed carelessly to the floor, Eren's hands gripping around Jean's neck, pushing their lips together once again. Jean's hands found their way to his lover's hips, gently guiding him backwards and onto his bed.

Eren's body fell backwards, landing softly against the cushioned mattress, his boyfriend's hands working with unbuttoning his pants. Jean jerked Eren's pants down his thighs and pulled them past his ankles, chucking the clothing out of his way and staring down at the mess in front of him. Eren looked shy, his face was flushed and his arms were bent inward, almost to hide his naked body. His gaze was off to the side, looking at nothing in particular. Jean climbed back over Eren's body and used his hand to pull Eren's face towards him. They embraced each other, Jean's lips hovering over Eren's, his breath numbing his lips. "Where's the lube?"

Eren bit his lip and then nodded towards the edge of the bed. Jean immediately jumped off of him and went for it, blindly looking for it with his hand. After fumbling around for it, his hand finally made contact with the bottle and he pulled himself upright. He returned to his previous position hovered over Eren and spread Eren's thigh's apart, pushing it forward so his ass was angled towards him. Jean used his thumb to flick open the bottle of lube, and then turned the bottle over in his hand, pouring a small amount onto his finger tips. He played with it for a moment, making sure it was all over his fingers before bringing them to Eren's entrance. The brunette tensed for a moment, the cold touch of the lube making his muscles clench.

Jean ran his fingers around the hole, not pushing in at all, and just coating the entrance. He spent a minute circling him, and then brought his hand back for more lube. He coated his fingers again and this time slowly pushed a finger into Eren.

Eren's heart was pounding hard in his chest, his ears burning red, and his face on fire. He felt embarrassed right now, and he felt like a stranger to Jean. He couldn't quite explain it, but it didn't feel right at all, and it definitely didn't feel like these two had been in a three year long relationship and had probably seen each other naked more times than they could count. He didn't feel comfortable at all, he felt completely bare in front of him and vulnerable. He supposed it might have been due to his guilt for cheating on him with Levi, the feeling in his stomach making him want to stop immediately.

"Hn..." Jean's face was confused, staring down at Eren as he scissored around his entrance. "You're already pretty loose.."

Eren's face turned a shade darker than it already was. He could feel the guilt coming out now, and he was terrified that Jean could somehow tell that he was cheating on him from that one thing. "Well... What're you waiting for then?" He cooed. Trying to draw attention away from that.

Jean smirked, removing his fingers and bringing his hips closer to Eren. His hands went around his pant's, pulling them down towards his thighs, exposing himself. He went for the bottle of lube for a third time now, pouring a small amount onto his hand and slicking his penis with it. After prepping himself, he held his dick towards Eren's hole and slowly slid himself in. His breath hitched when the muscle clamped around him. Eren's face contorted into a mix of being uncomfortable and pleasured at the same time.

Jean held his position for a moment, his self control testing him with how badly he wanted Eren. He slowly pulled himself out and paused for a moment before pushing in again. Eren's eyes clamped shut, his mouth hanging open. He let out a huff of air, his hands finding their way into Jean's hair and gripping it. Jean tried to pick up signals from Eren on whether it was too much or not, his body gestures leaving him clueless.

He decided to pace himself and leaned down onto Eren's body. He dragged his lower lip along his collar bone, pressing a kiss against the curve. His stomach clenched up as he pulled out of him again slowly and hovered for a moment, looking up and catching Eren's soft face. He watched as he slid into him, Eren's eyes fluttering open, and foggy. He let out a soft moan, twisting his lover's hair in between his fingers and pressing his hips down into Jean's to show he wanted more.

Jean pulled back to the motion, a smirk on his face. He brought his lips over Eren's nipple, licking the nub and pushing into him again. He dragged his teeth over his nipple, giving a soft bite and throwing his hips into Eren. The brunette's legs spread further apart, his hips trying desperately to push against Jean's for friction, but he wouldn't allow it. Any time Eren pressed into him, Jean pulled away. He brought his face closer to Eren's kissing his lips in even more of a teasing manner than he was with his hips. The brunette arched his body into Jean's, his nerves begging for more pleasure than this weak tease Jean was providing him with. His heart pounded and tingled when Jean's lips ghosted over his ear. His dick twitched with anticipation when he nipped at his earlobe.

"Jean..." Eren huffed, releasing his grip from his hair and sliding them down his toned back. "I swear to God...If you don't fuck me soon-Ah!" He cut off in a gasp when Jean threw his hips into Eren, giving him a hard thrust, and causing his body to jolt into him. He was disappointed again when Jean dragged himself out, and held him there.

He was going crazy now, and he wanted it so badly. It was similar to how long Levi would drag out the foreplay between them before he got anywhere in him. Levi never gave Eren what he wanted, no matter what it was, he always seemed to do the opposite until Eren was basically begging him to do _something_ to him. That, or Levi would give in just because there wasn't enough time to 'mess around'. Eren's eyes clamped shut again, his hands gliding over every curve of muscle along Jean's back.

Jean started pacing himself into Eren now, his self-control weakening as he thrusted into Eren, repeating his movements with a quicker pace.

Eren's eyes stayed closed. His mind was still wrapped in the memory of his times with Levi, the way Levi worked his hips, and the way his muscles tightened when he knew he was close to finishing. His hands felt over Jean's back, each muscle he felt reminding him of his second lover. His heart sent cringing waves of pleasure threw him each time Jean thrusted into him, his nerves pilling up in his pleasure spots. Eren's mouth dropped open with a loud moan coming out of it, his fingers digging into Jean's back. He loved it, he loved every second of it, and the guilt that he felt only moments ago was completely non existent at the moment. He threw his head back letting out another moan his head still wrapped up in his times with Levi. "Oh-Fuck!" He bit his lip, wanting more, god did he want more of him. "Mmm, Levi- Harder!" Eren's hands found their way back up to the head of hair and it wasn't until everything completely stopped that he realized his mistake.

His eyes shot open to a face of disbelief. His heart skipped in fear. He was fucked, he was so fucked. Jean pulled out of him completely, pushing himself off of Eren. "_What?"_

"J-Jean, wait, that was a mistake, I didn't-" He didn't have time to explain, he could see that Jean wasn't going to listen to anything he had to say.

* * *

Connie's hands were shaking from how nervous he was as he climbed the stair case to his apartment. He had his friend Sasha with him and he hated himself for how bad his nerves were.

He liked Sasha. A lot. As a friend, she was probably the coolest chick that he would ever come across, and they were so much alike it was crazy. He was nervous because it would be the first time she'd ever seen his dorm. He didn't know what to do about it, he was trying to bring her over as a friend and he kept telling himself that too. Connie tried his best to respect her, not because he wanted to date her, but because he was scared to lose her as a friend. The only reason he hadn't made serious a move on her was because of how close they were. Relationships were scary, and as cute as she was to him, he'd much rather have a best friend relationship with her than a romantic one if it meant they couldn't go back to this afterwards.

He had gone over in his head all the things he would do and say if he ever did want to go anywhere with her, but it didn't matter what it was that he said, the choice was ultimately hers to make. His face flushed for a moment when they came to the level his room was at.

He was nervous about showing her his room because, well, what if she felt pressured to try stuff? What if Sasha decided that she was only comfortable with her first time being with him? He didn't know why his thoughts had gone straight to that but he didn't draw away from it.

Connie honestly wasn't even sure he would be comfortable being naked in front of her, especially for something romantic. He didn't think he was quite at the level of fitness he wanted to be at to impress her either He wanted to look his best for her if it came down to that. Now, he didn't want to be as ripped as Reiner was, but his stomach barely had any tone to it.

Connie found himself in front of the door, Sasha behind him humming and looking over the building they were in. He took in a deep breath reaching a hand out for the door knob.

He wanted to have abs, he wanted them toned, and he wanted-

Connie's thoughts were cut off when the door in front of him was ripped open and he was greeted with a pair of abs.

He wanted a pair like that.

His eyes trailed up to the stomach to find out who it belonged to and his face dropped. Jean was standing there, his face red with.. He couldn't tell if it was anger or blush but it was red. He had a shirt bawled up in his hand, and it was shaking.

Yeah, he was definitely angry.

"Ohh..." Connie heard Sasha breathe out as she looked over Jean. Without any actual words being exchanged, Jean shoved past the two and started stomping towards the stairs. Connie turned his head away from Jean and into their dorm, his eyes landing on Eren, tumbling out of his room, slipping on a pair of pants. "Ew, no." Connie's eye twitched when he realized what was going down between the two.

Eren ran towards the doorway. "Jean wait! I didn't mean to!"

"FUCK OFF, JAEGER!" Jean yelled.

"Jean! I'M_ SORRY!" _Eren called back, standing in between Sasha and Connie. "It was a slip-up!"

To that, Jean stopped dead in his tracks and spun around on his heel, his eyes holding nothing but fury in them when they locked on Eren. "Slip-up? You want to hear something that was a fucking slip-up?" He started walking towards him now, his body shaking in anger. "Sticking around for you. Trying to actually do something for you. Wondering what the living _fuck_ was wrong with you and trying to let you work it out before asking again." Jean threw his shirt at Eren, causing him to flinch. "You expect me to believe yours was a slip-up?! You expect me to actually trust that you're staying after every _fucking day_ to study?!" Connie and Sasha exchanged uncomfortable looks as they found themselves stuck in the hallway with the two. "You expect me to believe you're actually working on your grades and you need every day to study for a class you don't even get _any_ homework in?!" Eren's mouth opened up to protest, but he was cut off before he had the chance to speak. "You don't even have the decency to _fucking_ break up with me first?! To tell me you're fucking your teacher!?" Connie's eyes went wide and he turned to Sasha, who's jaw was dropped. He grabbed her arm and nodded to go into the house, they were clearly involved in something extremely personal right now. Jean's face was twitching, and it was slowly shattering. He was beyond livid with Eren, and maybe he was jumping to conclusions but who calls out the wrong name during sex?

"Will you let me explain anything!?" Eren screamed back at him.

"I don't want a fucking explanation!" Jean stepped closer to Eren shoving his shoulder. "I want an answer. Did you fuck your teacher?"

"Jean, I wasn't trying-"

"-_NO._" Jean cut him off. "Did you _fuck _your _teacher?_" He took in a breath to calm his nerves. He wasn't sure he was ready to hear the answer, even though he was confident about what it was. "Yes.. Or No?"

"..." Eren's arms dropped to his side, his eyes falling to the ground. He didn't have anything else to say. He had nothing that could save him at this point. This was what he wanted anyway, wasn't it? "...Yes.." He breathed.

Jean's heart pulsed with a sharp pain. It felt like something had stabbed him, it felt like something in him just broke. He opened his mouth to say something but he didn't have any words. His lip trembled and his eyes watered before he moved again. He brought a hand to his mouth to keep himself from sobbing, as he bent down to pick up his shirt.

"Jean..." Eren breathed. He wanted to stop him, to say something to get him to stop hurting.

"No.." He choked out, his voice cracking. "Don't_ ever_ say my name again." He looked at Eren, his eyes red and cheeks already damp with tears. "Don't even look at me again." He didn't give Eren a chance to say anything. He turned on his heel, wiping his face and headed down the stairs, throwing his shirt on as well.

* * *

Jean couldn't express how hurt he was. He couldn't express how angry he was. His mind was a mess and his body was even worse. He stormed out of the building, his face soaked in tears. No matter how many times he cleared the tears from his face, they were always replaced. There were people out and they were staring at him. His ears burned red with embarrassment as he tried to hold himself together. He just needed to get to his car, and go home.

No, he couldn't even go home because Armin would be there. If Armin was there, he'd defend everything that Eren did until he was blue in the face and Jean couldn't handle that right now. He walked through the parking lot, tripping over his feet for a second. There was a girl getting out of her car, watching him concerned as he stormed passed. He wanted everyone to stop staring at him. Fuck, why was everyone outside _now_ of all times? A guy looked as if he was going to stop for him until Jean shot an angry look at him. He dug into his pants pocket, shuffling around for his keys as he approached his car. After unlocking his door, he shoved himself inside and slammed it shut. Jean fumbled with his keys to get them in the ignition, but he kept missing. He couldn't fucking see through all the tears in his eyes. After failing for a third try, he gave up, throwing the keys against the dashboard.

He wanted to get away from everyone, he wanted to go home, but he couldn't. He didn't want to be near anything that reminded him of Eren, but he didn't know where to go. He threw his head onto the steering wheel, letting himself cry freely now. He sobbed into his hands, his heart aching. He never thought a break up would be as bad as everyone made it out to be, but right now he didn't think he ever felt a worse pain. He was so upset and angry. He felt stupid. How could he have wasted three years on someone that would do this to him?

_Why_ did Eren do this to him? If he didn't like him anymore, why didn't he just break up with him? Why did he have to lie to him?

Jean used the palm of his hands to wipe away his tears again. He had to get himself together so he could get out of here. There was no way he was driving anywhere sobbing. Jean sniffled and tried to take in a breath to calm down, but his breath skipped. He tried again, closing his eyes and breathing in again, his nerves settling down this time. He opened his eyes and gave himself a minute before reaching for his keys. He picked up the car key and pushed it into the ignition, starting it up and backing out of his spot.

He needed to go and talk to someone, to get this all out of his system. He needed to make sure he wasn't crazy to be this mad. Maybe he was being irrational? Jean didn't want to think any longer on it, he needed a straight answer from someone, and he knew he could only get that with Marco.

He dug into his back pocket, pulling out his phone. After coming to a stop, Jean went through his contacts. The first name that popped up was Eren's with a heart next to it, and Jean's feelings were stirred up all over again. He wanted to throw his phone at that point, but took in a breath and went for Marco's. He brought the phone to his ear after hitting the dial button and waited for the man to pick up.

"_Hello? Jean?" _

"He-hey" Jean choked. He wanted to slap himself for still crying, he was trying to stay together here and he couldn't even do it over a phone call.

Marco was quiet for a moment. _"...Are you crying..?"_ He questioned.

"Marco...I need you... Please tell me you're free." Jean felt tears swell up in his eyes again, and his voice cracked. He was about to cry again, he could feel it. His heart thudded painfully in his chest as he waited for his friend's answer.

_"Yeah, no of course. I'm about to get out of class though, so-"_

"I-I can pick you up. I'm r-right around the corner."

"_...Alright._" Marco's voice sounded concerned, but he didn't seemed confused at all. Jean wondered if he already knew the general idea of what had happened. "_I'll see you when you get here then. I'm at the Liberal Arts building, by the way."_

"Thank you..." Without another word, Jean ended the call and tossed his phone into the passenger's seat. He pulled out of the complex and headed towards their school. All he had to do was make it for only a few minutes longer and then he'd get to see Marco.


End file.
